Continuing on my previous rant…

I chose to move to this state to be with Hubby and Princess, because there was no other option at the time. I loved Hubby and I loved Princess and it was the best move I ever made, because they, along with Lola are the best things that ever happened to me, and are the center of my world. It’s just sad that moving up here means that my family and friends drift away from me, no matter how hard I tried to keep my connections with everyone, and all the miles I have driven over the last 15 years to be with people…it is what it is. Moving on.

Why Do I Even Bother?

It’s so nice to know that the people closest to me that I have considered the most important in my life since I was a baby, really understand me and when I’m upset, they support me and try to help me feel better, rather than fucking ridiculing me, or making a joke out of my troubles.

Fuck you.

This just goes to show, family is not necessarily a blood thing. Sometimes people who come into your life later on who have no other connection than a soul connection can be the pillars in your life.


I’m feeling a bit selfish and childish today. My husband is off work today, and so is my littlest daughter. It is dreadful out. I had this idea in my mind of us spending a quiet snuggly day together. But it is beginning to look like he is going to have to go to his mother’s to do some chores and repair work. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to take care of our parents. However…I just feel like sometimes my hubby gets taken advantage of, he does a lot and it seems like there is always more that is expected and never appreciated.

What a busy day!

It’s been a super busy day today. I had a lot of errands to run, directly after dropping Lola off to school. Then, I had to come home and work, and other than breaking to go back and pick Lola up from school, there’s been no time for anything else, including journaling. I’m hoping that once I get this project I’m working on caught up this afternoon, I will have time for a real blog entry. Busy busy busy!!! I guess it’s good that I have this much work to do!


It’s always nice when “unconditional” doesn’t really mean “unconditional”.  “Unconditional” unless it’s inconvenient to me.  “Unconditional” unless you tell me something I don’t want to hear.  “Unconditional” unless you actually want something from me instead of the other way around.


Oh my God! She’s Aliiiive!!!

Yes, I am alive. I’m here, at least for a few seconds to let you know that I am, indeed, still around and planning on blogging again someday. 

Right now, the big thing going on is that my hubby and I and the girls are going to be moving to Tennessee at the end of June/early July.  We are very excited about it.  We are really going out on a limb, and I’m kind of hoping that the invisible powers that be will be merciful and let us make this transition smoothly.  It’s hard enough just moving a whole household three states away, but we are also attempting to start a new business at the same time.

Wish us luck; I think we’re going to need it, and up until now, we haven’t had much of it.  And with all the obstacles that seem to be cropping up in relation to this move, I’m not thinking that Divine Providence is going to be paving the way for us.  Nothing ever comes easy to Hubby and I, except love.  I guess that puts us square with other people who have a lot of luck in fiscal and temporal matters, because not everyone is as lucky in love as Hubby and I are blessed to be. 

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  I got roses on Friday from Hubby, and a pretty handmade piece of art/calligraphy from Princess, and a beautiful handmade flower magnet with a picture of Lola on it along with a precious little card about why she loves her mom.  I love homemade gifts from the kids.  It means a lot to me.  But since all my gifts were given to me the other day before Princess went to her “real mom’s” house for the weekend, I’m not sure if I will actually get anything tomorrow or not.  However, I kicked butt today and my house is really clean, and Hubby and I powerwashed the porch and all the furniture and stuff on it…it looks great so maybe I will get to relax and enjoy my porch and my beautiful flower boxes that the girls and I planted this week.

If I am inclined to be productive tomorrow, I may work on finishing the powerwashing of the wood fence around the yard.  I have about 1/3 done, and 2/3 to go.  Plus, I need to powerwash the patio and the patio furniture really well.

You know, the older that Lola gets, the more beautiful she is getting.  I am looking at her right now with that riot of curls tumbling around her face, halfway down her back and those big green eyes and those precious dimples, and I realize she is going to be GORGEOUS when she grows up, just like her sissy.  Her behavior has really improved lately.  I only have those horrid despair-ridden moments every once in a while now where I think she is going to shame me into the grave or give me an aneuyrism (sp?) [Holy cow I spell checked it and I was RIGHT! Go ME!].  I think she may always be challenging and very spirited, but I think I can, in the words of Beatrice Tarleton, “Curb [her], but don’t break [her] spirit.”  I am getting much better at redirecting her effectively and making her want to do the things I want her to do rather than just commanding things.  It takes me probably twice the time most mothers take with their “normal” kid to get anything accomplished, but at least everyone in the house is less stressed out.  The change of schools and reducing the amount of time at school seems to have helped the situation very much.  She is getting a lot more face time with me and I think that is helping her behavior.

Wow, this was supposed to be a short update but I could go on for another hour.  Sorry, I am just babbling.  I will come and update more about the move to Tennessee when I have time; but I am not sure when that will be. LOL.  Take care, everyone.

I Should Probably Shut the Journal Down.

I really am not interested in writing in it anymore.  I don’t have much really to say or to offer in the way of exciting or even non-coma-inducing news.  I’m just…ordinary…these days.  Nothing exciting, remotely, going on.

I’ll give it a couple more months, then maybe I will close it down.

Still Thinking About The “OLD ME”

Still contemplating on what I want to return to being. It may take a while, but I’m going to lose this extra half-a-person I’ve been carrying around and get back to my former glorious self.