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Ok, Ok!!!

Geez–I’ve been referred to as Miz Thang…and impressed upon to write an update.  OK! Ok!!!  LOL

What is up with me.  Hmm…It’s 07/07/07.  I hope today is lucky for someone.

I have been laying low the last few days.  I am in that “psycho pocket” of days before my period so trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings or get mine hurt too badly.  Basically just been concentrating on getting through the days because I am definitely in a slump, probably because of “the hormonees”.  The Prozac I started taking, “that no work” for “the hormonees” (I’m pulling an Aunt Voola there…)

We are so unbelievably broke, which is the norm these days.  Hubby worked a crapload of overtime over the last pay period.  We get our paystub on Thursday and find that he was paid for a straight 80 — that’s 2 40 hour weeks — so he is missing 22 hours of overtime, 5 days of travel expense pay, and a 10% wage differential for working night shift.  It adds up to about $1450 of much needed fundage.  We will probably not get it until the next paycheck.  This is bad — he did that overtime for a reason — we have bills that need paid and we are supposed to be leaving for Tennessee on Thursday for 6 days; and also leaving the kids with my mom and sister for a few days after that — need to leave some money for them too.

Hubby’s boss is going to bat for him and trying to get them to cut an off cycle check…this is very rare and I think it’s probably not going to happen.  The boss says he would be willing to give us the money and then we could pay him back when we do get the money from the company.  I am not all that comfortable with that.  My sister said not to do that, to let her give us the money, but I don’t think she realizes its $1400.  LOL.  We may just borrow the money for traveling from her.  The bills are just going to have to wait.  All we have money for right now is our house payment and food and gas.  Nice, huh?  We just are behind and I wanted to catch up before things got bad.  Oh well.  This is going to be the story of our life until Lola is in school and I can work again, full time.  I love this country and how hard it is for a family to make it on one income.  Capitalist Prick Bastards.  My husband actually makes a respectable wage, it’s just so damned expensive to LIVE.  We could make it just fine, but we don’t want to live so damned frugal that the kids miss out on stuff.  If we had more discipline I’m sure we wouldn’t be having these problems.  We were doing ok before I got all down after Lola was born.  Hubby has passed on a lot of overtime over the last couple of years because I just needed him to come home and relieve me from the kids, etc. because I was feeling so horrible. 

I have also overspent many, many times out of depression or on a manic spree.  He has been so patient with me.  His argument is what I consider a “manic spending spree” is the normal lady’s “just picked up a few things at the store”.  I know that I feel like if I spend $75 on myself or the kids that wasn’t planned I beat myself up about it.  MY thing is that we don’t HAVE $75 extra to spend, I shouldn’t have spent it on stuff for me…I have enough clothes, I have shoes, there is no reason for me to buy anything new.  The kids often have enough too…Lola is constantly growing so I do need things for her but I overspend when I do go and get her things.  I can go to Barnes & Noble with the kids and spend $60 easily.  I know, go to the library…right?  I do…sometimes we collect a book series, etc., and I buy them…oh well, I suck…I already know.

The weather has been beautiful, but I haven’t been going out much.  Which is really sad because Lola should be outside more.  I’m just low energy and chasing her wears me out.  She always wants to go on Princess’s trampoline (aka “the bing-a-bing”) and it is horrible for my back and joints.  I do go out there some, but not as much as SHE wants to!

Other than that, I am really looking forward to going to Tennessee and being with my family for a few days.  All the Harry Potter fans in the family will be trekking down to Nashville (4 hour drive) to see the new movie in the IMAX 3D.  I am geeked about that.  We are going to go out on the jetskis, and do a few other things like that.  I am really looking forward to it.  My sister, niece and I will work on plans for the niece’s wedding shower and wedding.  I’m the maid of honor so I have a lot of things I need to be doing for this.

Then, we will be coming home on Tuesday the 17th and will be child free (!!!) until the following weekend — the weekend that Deathly Hallows comes out.  I am kind of hoping that Hubby will drive down to meet my sister in Cincinnati and get the kids on his own so I can read my book in peace.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  🙂  But I am also going to enjoy having Hubby to myself for what, 4 or 5 whole days?  We haven’t had more than 6 or so hours alone in YEARS!!!  😛  Surprisingly, although I am looking forward to making love a WHOLE bunch, the things I’m really looking forward to are playing cards, going out wherever we want to go, talking about whatever we want, watching the TV and whatever we want on it, going on walks, candlelit dinners, etc.  But the playing cards I’m really geeked about.  Can’t do that with a little toddler crawling all over you and the table…and once she goes to bed we’re too tired to play cards.  So it will be nice.  I love games.

Anyway…the highlight of the whole 4 or 5 days alone will be him going with me to Walmart in the middle of the night to get Deathly Hallows.  I won’t have to go alone because we can’t leave the kids unsupervised — we can go together and not worry!!  I’m sure this is exactly what he is looking forward to the most (yeah, right).

Deathly Hallows looms hugely in my conscious mind and I really don’t have a lot of other subjects that I want to think about.  I have been waiting a long time for this book and can’t seem to concentrate on anything.  I’m rereading the books AGAIN — I’m almost finished with Goblet of Fire…I want to be able to pick up DH and seamlessly pick up the thread of the story…I am going to really savor this.  I’m going to stock up on my favorite snacks, make a cozy little nest on my bed and only get up to go to the bathroom or take a shower!!!  YAY no kids to distract me — ah the heaven!!!

So that is all that is going on.  Nothing major…I’m sure you’re bored to death.  But YOU asked for it — you know who you are.

CG

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Almost Friday Already!

I need to remember that I have therapy at 6, so I need to start getting ready at 4 and leave by 5. 

Today has been kind of inactive.  I read all the recaps for Gilmore Girls on TelevisionWithoutPity.com, because I haven’t watched it since mid-season last season.  It was just pissing me off.  So I read up till this last episode, and now I’m thinking I’ll watch the last few episodes.  I also sat and read the discussion boards, and I am amused at how serious some people take this show.  They really philosphize about the whys and wherefores of the show.  I can’t say much, I’ve done that about books and movies in the past, extensively.  Especially the Harry Potter story line.  But still it’s funny. 

A lot of people ask me if I named my daughter for the main character of this show, but I didn’t.  People also told me that the main character Lorelai is a lot like me, so actually, I got so curious after several people had asked me that, that I decided to sit down and watch an episode, and then I was hooked. 

Other than that, I finished “She’s Come Undone” by Wally Lamb.  This time, strangely enough, the ending didn’t upset me.  I actually felt good.  It’s been a long time since I read it, and actually the things that happen to her didn’t affect me the way they did the first time I read it.  Which tells me I have moved on from some of the negative experiences I read in that book.

I am both looking forward to and dreading therapy tonight.  I can tell her about my little victory, quitting Dr. Pepper for 5 days.  But then I have to tell her about the continuing struggle since then.  I have been bad for two days in a row.  I know the benefits, and I still do it.  I wish I understood what really makes me do that.  I guess it’s that whole “inner child” running the show thing, and she wants soda, all the time.  It’s something that hasn’t changed since I was younger. 

I really need to quit.  I really, really do.  I just have to take it one day at a time, I guess, and be grateful I’m not trying to quit drinking alcohol, smoking, or taking drugs.  It could be worse.  But like alcohol, just one drink of soda sets me off again.  That is definitely addictive behavior.  I’m not sure how to handle it.  I tend to run away from anything that indicates it might be hard work.

It is something that is on my mind.  But mostly, I’m planning on sitting down and reading What To Expect The Toddler Years to see if my baby has reached all the important milestones by this age.  Keep your fingers crossed that she has.  I don’t like looking at that book much, because if there’s something Lola hasn’t mastered yet, I start feeling like it’s my fault.  Horrible mother, and all that.

Here’s something that is really bothering me.  She WILL NOT eat breakfast.  Nothing I have tried she wants.  All she wants is her bottle of milk.  She usually has one in the morning and one in the evening, sometimes one in the middle of the day that I only fill to 5 oz.  And like most kids her age, she’s very picky about what she *will* eat.  Pizza, spaghetti, hot dogs and mac’n’cheese are the only things I know she will always eat.  Most veggies are a bust.  At least I have got her willingly letting me brush her teeth, and going to bed without a huge fuss most nights.  If I can get her to eat better, I guess I’m not doing too shabby.  It’s just my perfectionism again, I guess.

OK, I’m outta here. 

If you know my brother Bri, (or even if you don’t) it is his 30th birthday tomorrow.  Please send him an email or something to wish him a happy day – email me to get his email address

CG

3rd Entry Today – Busy Blog!

Current mood: content

Just wanted to say hi.  Still feeling kind of sick to my tummy today, but better than yesterday.  Now, Princess is suffering from it.  She’s taking a nap.  She did watch Lola for me for an hour while I cleaned out some stuff in my closet.  I worked for one hour, and have 3 laundry baskets full of stuff to donate or sell.  And I’m not even done in there yet.  I want to get Hubby to go through his 27,000 flannel shirts and just pick 8 to keep, and get rid of the rest.  That ought to clear out some room on some of the shelves.  I’m also hoping to thin out the herd of T-shirts.  He still has two drawers full of “regular” T-shirts, and one drawer full of work T-shirts with the logos and what not.  He of course can keep the work t-shirts, but geez, 2 drawers full of T-shirts, a lot of which don’t get worn?  At least I’m hoping he will let me put one half of them in a box to store until the other ones wear out.  Because a lot of these T-shirts are like new and have only been worn once or twice. 

He doesn’t know it, but I did get rid of some of his stuff today.  He has a lot of “junk” clothes to work on cars, etc.  But does one really need 20 pairs of “junk” jeans with holes in them and stains all over them when one can only wear one pair at a time?  I figure 5 is enough.  So I got rid of a whole lot of really shredded pants.  I also got rid of some of his “junk” shirts.  He had like 40 of them.  Again, too many for “junk”. 

I did have a hard time parting with some of my jeans.  But luckily, a couple of my favorite pairs that I’ve outgrown, fit Princess and she’s taking them.  She’s very pleased, and they look lovely on her little tiny rear end. LOL.  I told her however that if I got thinner again I’d be wearing them too. LOL.

There were two pairs that were a little too big on her but I still love them dearly, and I’m only a little too big for them, so if I lose 10 or 20 lbs I can wear them again.  I only kept the two pairs, so I guess that’s better than some people!  I did do a tremendous thing.  I got rid of a size 10 jeans I’ve had since high school.  I LOVED these jeans and how they made my ass look!  But since late 2000, I’ve not been able to cram my ass in them.  Anyway, they are straight legged jeans and I’ve come to dislike them anyway.  I prefer boot cut or flares.  I know the straight leg pants are coming back into style right now but I’ll pass these on to someone who can actually wear them.

Size 10.  Can you believe that?  I was actually in a size 10 when I moved up here, but lost a bunch of weight the first 6 months from stress, and could wear size 8.  But I already let go of size 8 clothes I had because I knew I’d probably never go back there again…because when I was a size 8, all I heard from everybody is “Are you ok?  You don’t look too good.  You’ve lost a lot of weight, are you sure you are ok?”  I even heard that I looked like death warmed over, and that I needed some meat on my bones again.  So I am hopefully never going to look that scary again. LOL.  Kind of reminds me of Bridget Jones in her book, when she finally gets down to her goal weight, and everyone tells her she looked better before. 

Right now, I’m sitting here typing this, Lola is slowly drifting towards napdom, Princess is upstairs taking a nap, and I’m drinking my first Dr. Pepper of the day.  Usually I’ve had 4 by now, but I’m trying to drink more water.  So far I’ve had 4 glasses of water today.

I’m expecting a family friend any time now, who is bringing over our new furnace.  He is taking it down to the basement to take some measurements so he can get some pieces of tin cut for some reason that only guys who know about furnaces understand.  Then, hopefully next week, we will have our new furnace installed.  Then, after that, we can get up on the roof and remove the chimney when we get a chance.  Right now, it’s too icy and of course I don’t want Hubby up there right now.  But every wet day is causing more damage to the roof, and the walls that run along the chimney column. 

My dining room wall is the worst.  The water is bubbling behind the paint.  The wall is lath & plaster, and the bubbling behind the paint kind of looks like the wall has ringworm.  One of the ringworms looks exactly like the shape of Africa.  I will miss that once we fix the damage.

You know, I’ve been working hard for a couple of weeks now, I’ve been busily decluttering, cleaning, and starting to FLY again (FLY means Finally Loving Yourself).  I have accomplished a lot, and yet, I have found the time, an hour at a time, to read Harry Potter from Book 1 to Book 4.  It has been good to set aside a little time every day to read.  As a matter of fact, I think I’ll do that now.  If Lola falls asleep, I will put in another movie and enjoy.

Take care, everyone! 

Currently listening :
Family Affair
By Mary J. Blige
Release date: By 06 November, 2001

Pre-Christmas Christmas

This morning, we had our family Christmas morning.  This year, Princess had to go to the Ex-Wife’s house for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning.  It was really fun!  This is the first year ever that I have really been excited about something I got to the point of feeling like a kid again.  I got Trivial Pursuit – 80’s Edition and Name That Tune – 80’s Edition.  I also got Valmont (starring the yummy Colin Firth), Bridget Jones’ Diary, and Godfather I to go with II and III that I already have.  I’m glad because Godfather I is truly the best one anyway.  I got Straight Outta Lynwood, Weird Al’s newest CD.  I also got a lot of good smelly stuff and some really cute decorative hair ornaments (hair stix).  I also got one of those plug N play joysticks with ms. pac man, galaga, pole position, xevious, and mappy games!  YAY!

The kids of course, made out like wee banditos.  Lola got a laptop!  It’s a VTech laptop, really meant for 5 years of age or older, but it looks JUST like our laptops and she is fascinated with our computers.  I am hoping this will deflect her attention to our expensive and sensitive machines.  I’d rather her abuse a $50 kids’ laptop than our $800+ models, wouldn’t you?  Plus, worst case scenario, she LEARNS stuff!  If she breaks it, we have a 1 year warranty.  She got some Elmo stuff, some Wiggles stuff, a bunch of Baby Einstein books and stuff as well.  She still has a couple of gifts to open tomorrow morning.  Puzzles, dress up stuff, and the biggest gift is a Little Leaps learning system, which is made especially for little ones her age.  Hooks up to the TV.  Lola opened her present from Tiffany, which was 5 pairs of the softest PJ’s ever, and a Little Leaps game!  🙂 thanks Tiffany!

Princess got her iPod Nano and accessories (that was $200 right there), $25 iTunes gift card, $15 Bath & Body Works card, $30 Visa Gift Card, $25 Build-A-Bear Bucks, Pirates of the Caribbean II game for Nintendo DS, jewelry, hair stix, temporary hair color, good smelly bath stuff, Pirateology and Fairyopolis books, a $20 gift card to borders, a certificate for $50 off her laptop loan.  She also opened her present from Tiffany, which was $15 iTunes, $25 gift card to Hot Topic, and Pirates of the Caribbean II DVD.  Thanks Tiffany!

Also, Tiffany sent me and Hubby a package, which had a decorative tree with photo frame ornaments (I LOVE IT!), and a rose-scented Yankee Candle.  Someone knows their Aunt CG really well!!!

Hubby did ok too – he got an angle die grinder (i bought it but i don’t know what it does), a fancy kind of razor knife, a waist holster for his DeWalt drills (call him quick-draw mcgraw LOL), cologne and matching shower gel, a new wallet, and some other things I can’t remember! 

We all got tons of candy, and the above doesn’t count all the little gifts I did for my family for the 12 days of Christmas tradition I am starting.  They all got a special ornament from Mommy also. 

We decided our Memory Box tradition is going to be on New Years Day, because it is about what we liked about the year just passed, and we are going to use it as a springboard to discuss our plans for the next year. 

We didn’t start our “love notes” tradition I had intended on doing, simply because I ran out of time.  I am going to set it up so it is ready for next year.  What I’m going to do is make little cards that have a prearranged question on it.  So maybe next year it will be “What was the nicest thing (family member’s name) did for you this year?” or “What is your favorite thing about (family member’s name)?” and then we’ll fill them out for each other, and put them in the tree to look at and read.  Then, they can go in the memory box. I think that will be special.

This coming week, I am planning on taking Princess to work for a food bank or homeless shelter.  I think it will be good for us both to help others. 

Princess’s hair looked awesome this morning when she got up.  I cut it and styled it yesterday and today it still looks gorgeous.  Hubby said that when he got to Ex-Wife’s house she said, “Princess your hair looks great!  I was going to do that for you!” and Princess said, “That’s ok, you don’t need to because CG already did it for me.”  Ha!  There’s a reason for that — earlier today she called and was really rude, apparently they are going to take some photos of the family today and she said, “Could you make sure that Princess actually wears something nice today?”  Like Princess is Cinderella in rags or something.  What she meant was “dressy” not “casual” but she’s always acting like Princess looks bad and she does not.  It’s just something she can act like she would do better than us.  Well, not only does Princess always look adorable, she’s smart and good and responsible, and I am sure that Ex-Wife couldn’t pull that off.  Her oldest son is going to jail for the third time, and this time will probably be the long haul.  He stole Ex-Wife’s mom’s credit card and bought $1800 worth of stuff off of eBay, and he stole $300 in cash out of grandma’s purse as well.  So Grandma reported him.  He was on probation so he will probably have to serve the full thing this time.  This son was LIVING with them and her guiding hand really helped there, didn’t it?  Her oldest daughter is a high school dropout who had a kid at 16, she really was watching that one too.  The younger son lives with his dad and stays away from his mom pretty much, so there’s hope for him like there is for Princess.  But of course she’s going to focus on the outside appearance, her clothes, her hair, like that’s what matters.  Stupid cow. 

Anyway when she said that today, “Don’t send her over in a T-Shirt with writing on it” Princess said, “I should get a ‘Step-Mom’s Are the Best’ T-Shirt and wear that over there for pictures.”  LOL.

Ok, I need to go and play with my baby.  Have a great holiday if I don’t get on here again.

🙂

Today’s Accomplishments

Had a super productive day today.

Completed:

Worked on job applications for 1 hour
90% done with laundry
Balanced checkbook
Cooked some freakish dish for dinner from leftovers.  Everyone actually ate it, to my surprise.

The best thing:  Spent some quality time with my husband and kids.  Watched 7 Brides for 7 Brothers.  Laughed as Lola got up during every song, dragging us by the hands so we could dance.  And we danced.  Even daddy.  She was so tickled by the colors, the songs, the dancing, that it tickled us too.  Princess just kept saying, “this movie is so cool.”  Tomorrow, I’m going to have them watch Fiddler on the Roof.  Saturday, I think we’ll do The Apartment, and I’ll line up some classics for them to watch this week.  It’s time they saw some good old stuff.  Hm…for the lineup — My Fair Lady, The Scarlet Pimpernil, and I’ll think of some more. 

Wrapped tomorrow’s 2nd day of Christmas gifts for the kids.  I ended up giving Hubby his Kona coffee today for Day 1.  I need some more printer ink to do the pictures for his visor.  He’s getting Biscotti tomorrow to go with his coffee.  Princess is getting a new stocking with her initial sewn in rhinestones, and Lola is getting a Magenta dog (from Blues Clues) Beanie Baby.  I so enjoy doing this.

Now, all I need is for payday a week from tomorrow, and I can finish shopping for Lola.  I hardly have any of her gifts bought, including the big items.  At least I can rest in the knowledge that Princess’s is mostly done.  She’ll be happy because her main thing has been obtained.

Fuck this to-do list today.  It’s gotten old and I’m just going to take it easy for a day or so.  My man is home tomorrow and I plan on keeping his attention as much as I can.

Currently listening :
Guitar Man
By Bread
Release date: By 19 May, 1992

CG

Trivial Nonsense

Current mood: impressed

So…last night, Hubby & I went to BW3’s for wings and trivia.  I played trivia only PART of the night, mind you and guess what?

I got the HIGHEST trivia score EVER for this BW3’s in its history.  I was 20th in the nation for high scores yesterday, and I brought this BW3 from 359th place to 18th place pretty much on my own.

So, sometimes I can be smart about stuff.  Sometimes.  I *heart* Trivia games.

CG

A fun quiz

Something I stole from Yvonne, who got it from Quiz challenge from Yes That Mom.

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: Deep greenish blue
Favorite Food: Chocolate, chocolate!
Favorite month: July, and October
Favorite Song: It changes, but right now I am loving “Bookends” by Simon & Garfunkel.
Favorite Movie: I have so many, but the first one that came to mind today was The Other Sister.
Favorite Sport: To watch, Hockey and Basketball. To play, Badminton and Baseball.
Favorite Season: Summer and Fall
Favorite Day Of the Week: Whatever day Hubby is off work
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate
Favorite Time of Day: Early evening

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Grateful
Current Taste: Chocolate!
Current Clothes: Black yoga pants and a black tank top with a built in bra (I love steel belted radial built in bras for buxom broads like myself)
Current Desktop: 1) A photo of Princess and Lola, and a picture of Michael Buble
Current Toenail Color: Clear
Current Time: 12:40 p.m.
Current Surroundings: Laptop on top of my bed, my baby and my youngest kitty and a messy bedroom
Current Thoughts: I need to finish my project in the living room today, then start on my bedroom!

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Crystal Dotson
First Kiss: I am assuming you mean “real” kiss, and that would be Matt L.
First Screen Name: celtgoddess
First Pet: My dog Chico
First Piercing: Ears — 5 years old
First Crush: I can’t remember which came first, my sister’s friend Peppi, or this guy from church, Johnny.
First CD: Pink Floyd’s The Division Bell. My first album (not supplied by my sisters that I bought myself) was Weird Al’s “Dare to be Stupid”. I still love it.

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: The first one I ever smoked at age 18
Last Drink: Dr. Pepper, today
Last Car Ride: To Halloween USA on Thurday evening
Last Kiss: Just now to my little baby who hit her head on my laptop screen when she tipped over
Last Movie Seen: Matilda, this morning
Last Phone Call: My hubby called, we discussed his ex, Princess’s “real mom” (that was dripping with sarcasm by the way)
Last CD Played: Pink Floyd’s “Momentary Lapse of Reason”

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: Yes, twice, and I married the last one
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Yes, but the charges were dropped (wouldn’t YOU like to know!!!)
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes and I wish I could do it again–and I probably will!
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Yes

5 THINGS
Thing You’re Wearing: MoonFlower perfume, a recipe I created special at the Renaissance Fair.
Thing You’ve Done Today: Played with my daughter
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: The TV
Thing You Can’t Live Without: Lola
Thing You Do When You’re Bored: Read or watch TV

4 PLACES YOU’VE BEEN TODAY
1. The corner store
2. My front yard
3. Living room
4. My bedroom

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. Hubby, most things
2. Kitty, all things
3. Lois, most things

2 CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Be a harp player.