I miss *us*

I am definitely in a down time.  I did, however, express to my husband that I felt like he and I needed to reconnect in a “romantic” way because I feel like he and I are not as close as we have been as far as that sort of thing goes.  He has been great to me lately, very supportive of the things I’m trying to do to change my life, but as far as feeling like we are in love with each other, that feeling has not surfaced in a while on BOTH of our parts.  I know he loves me, and I am just feeling that maybe my declining beauty and getting older is really affecting his attraction to me.  Plus the weight and all that.  I don’t *feel* sexy so I don’t want to have sex, etc.

I have been focusing too much on that lbs number.  I kind of lost sight of why I started working out and taking better care of myself in the first place.  It wasn’t about getting skinny.  It was about getting *healthy*.  If I am feeling healthier — that is, less pain, more energy, better moods, etc. — THAT is the goal.  Not a number on the scale.  If I achieve the goals and I’m still a size 16 then that is going to have to be OK.  I cannot happily focus on something like that.  I have to find my beauty no matter where I am.  If as a side effect of living a bit healthier, I lose some weight, then fine.  But that cannot be the purpose. 

It has disappointed me that I am having to watch my calories SO damned closely.  I can’t do that.  I am going to continue to track my food, and try to stay within the caloric range.  I am trying to include lots of water, veggies and fruit, and protein in the mix; less carbs; but I’m not going to obsess over it.  I’m going to try to focus on getting more exercise…and worrying a bit less about eating rabbit food all day, every day.  This is not to say that I am going to go hog wild and eat junk food all the time again.  I know that is bad for me.  That is counterproductive to the “feeling better” mission. 

I have noticed that when I go a few days without drinking lots of water, my newly cleared-up skin starts breaking out like crazy.  I get canker sores in my mouth, my skin gets even drier than normal, etc.  So I know that water is absolutely imperative.  And I have been going kind of crazy with the pop drinking.  Because it is in the house.  Now that it is all gone (thanks to my binging), I can start over with that. 

I actually really enjoyed myself when I was holding out my streak on not drinking pop, and doing crunches every day, etc.  And I do enjoy doing cardio.  I wish I enjoyed strength training a bit more.  I hate doing it.  I hate calisthenics, and I hate dumbbells.  This is where I wish I was using circuit training machines.  Maybe if I had a workout bench, etc., and a specific place set aside for me to work out it would be easier.

I wish I could have time every day to do 45 minutes of (enjoyable) cardio, and 20 minutes of yoga.  The yoga I would prefer to do in the evening.  I *could* do it at night but after I put Lola to bed, I’m just so tired I want to sit and have a quiet moment or just go to bed.  I would do even more cardio if I could because I know it will benefit me.  The strength training I know I should do every other day 3 x a week.  It is just SO boring and hard to do when I have to look at the computer screen for every exercise and try to use things around the house for stability or balance. 

This has nothing to do with my mood except that I know that my lack of activity or structure really affects my feelings. 

After I shared with my husband today that I feel lonely and I miss our love and our chemistry, he came home with a card and flowers.  I love him.  I know he loves me and I just want to know that he still adores me like he used to.  I feel so scared that these inches of extra weight on me are draining his attraction to me.  And since I know my birth control pills are sapping all my libido our sex life has been nil lately.  I am switching back to my old pill at the end of this pack. 

I think I need to take a bit of time for myself — I mean, to spend a little time on being a *girly girl* and recharge my feminine batteries so to speak.  I need to color my hair, I need to get a pedicure, I need to go through my clothes and get all the prettiest stuff out for wearing.  I need some new shoes (as we’ve discussed), and I’d LOVE a little extra money to get some good outdoor walking clothes, and some Bare Essentials makeup.  Oh, wouldn’t that be lovely.

Money would help.  A lot.  As usual.

Great Day!

Ladies — Today is going GREAT.

I woke up at 8:20 a.m. and actually got up out of the bed on my own, NO prodding from the hubby, and I got dressed, did my stretches, got ready to go and walked into my bedroom.  My hubby was laying there with his eyes open, and he looked really surprised that I was dressed, mp3 player and timer ready to go.  I said, “I’m outta here, hon.” and he looked really impressed.

Out the door I went.  The music was great on my mp3 player and I was walking fast…I’ve been reading on this great walking website (http://www.thewalkingsite.com/beginner.html) about short and quick strides and visualizing walking a straight line, looking straight ahead and not at the ground, etc.  Also they said the faster you swing your arms, your legs will follow and this works.  The sun was filtering through the trees, so every few steps I would emerge into a shaft of sunlight and it felt so good.  It was chilly, but the sunshine was warm.  I walked without pain for approximately half the walk.  Started to get a bit sore in the second half, but not as bad as it has been previously.  I suspect that this is because of the flexibility exercises I’ve been doing from the previously mentioned walking website.  I just felt happy to be alive, happy that I am sticking to something for the first time in years, and knowing that my husband is proud of me.

I have been working out my plan for weight loss when going in to Phase 2 of the SparkPeople program.  I have figured it out that for the first 10 or 20 lbs I need to keep my calorie intake to no more than 1720 calories per day, and I want to try to burn 200-600 calories per day.  I’m not sure how I am going to structure this, now that we are going into the lovely season of Winter here in Michigan and I am not a penguin so I don’t like being out there too long.

I am planning on making Phase 2 last 12 weeks instead of 6.  I’m going to work for 2 weeks on each of the week’s points so that I can make sure they are embedded in my mind.  I need that extra bit of reinforcement to make sure things stick. 

If I could lose 2 lbs per week, by the time I am out of Phase 2, I could have lost 24 lbs.  That would take me down to 166 lbs., and a lot closer to my first goal of 160.  Once I’m there, I am hoping to get down to 150 or 140.  I think this is a nice weight for me to be, not too skinny, I get to keep my curves that my hubby loves and still be slim enough to wear the things I really enjoy wearing. 

Weight loss has become more of an interest since I have begun this change in my life-style.  I originally started this to work on modulating my mood swings for the bipolar disorder.  I have found without doubt that this is working for that.  These changes I’m making are not only exercise and nutrition, but also being more conscious of how I spend my time and making sure that I take care of my responsibilities as a wife, mother, friend and daughter.  Now that I have proved to myself that this is really helping me emotionally and mentally, and I am starting to see the benefits of consistent exercise and controlling my urge to overeat, I am hoping that my dream of getting back to a sexy body is closer than I had been thinking.  It seemed as far away as the moon.  I figured I couldn’t even meet my basic needs, how the hell could I possibly get fit?  No self control, no determination, no dedication, etc.  But I’m finding that I still have that in me–and the momentum builds as I get up and add another day to the tally of days I have lived this new way.

I am also seeing a definite lack of “fun” in my life, and I am really thinking about what I can do to infuse some enjoyment back into my days.  I mean, hanging out with my kids is fun, but I mean “MY” kind of fun…reading, other hobbies, etc.  It is time.  I am hoping that I can really curb the internet time, and spend that time with my kids, and also making time to seize joy during my days. 

Today for instance, the house is basically straightened up.  I don’t worry too much about the living room because that is where Lola plays.  I clean that up at night before bedtime so we start fresh in the morning.  The rest of the house is straightened, beds made, etc.  Tomorrow I will need to sweep and mop in preparation for my sister’s arrival, although I doubt she really cares about such things.  I will also do a load of laundry today as well, but other than that, housework is done.  It is currently 11:30 a.m. and I do have to run around this afternoon, so my time at home is short.  I have to go to my SIL’s house for 2-3 hours this evening while Princess is attending a babysitting course with her cousin in SIL’s neighborhood.  After that I need to get some groceries in the house this evening before my sister comes tomorrow.

I think I feel a bit uneasy like I’m missing something or should be doing more.  I can’t really see what though.  I am really not in the mood to take on some huge house overhaul or anything.  No special projects other than overhauling myself.  I think I may feel a bit funny about how much time I’m spending on SparkPeople right now but I think in order to effect the changes I’m trying to effect, I need to be on there to help keep my mind focused, or my eyes on the prize, as it were.

I just spend an hour or so going through the site, reading articles, etc.  I go to My SparkPoints page and I basically go down the list and do everything and get my points — but it helps me because I am watching those videos, and reading about nutrition and health conditions, etc.  It stays with me through the day and keeps me more conscious of my health decisions.

Wow, this is long winded.  I guess I should go and live my life today.  Thanks for listening.

Today’s Inspirational Muse brought to you by:

Would I Lie To You? – Eddy & Something or other, the name is screwed up.
Shining Star – Earth, Wind & Fire
Rock Steady – The Whispers
Where Da Party At – Nelly (feat. Jagged Edge)
Last Night I Didn’t Get To Sleep at All – Fifth Dimension
Crazy – Gnarls Barkley
Do Me! – Bell Biv Devoe
The Power – Snap

Time Management Really Matters

I am really getting into the habit of doing all these “basic needs” things I have on my checklist.  I am getting them done in the first part of the day, leaving the rest of the day to get other things done or spend time with my kids.  Limiting the time on the internet especially seems to help me.  I do not count my time journaling or doing SparkPeople or Bipolar Discussion Board in that “time wasting” time because those things are good for me.

My moods have been much better.  I haven’t necessarily been over the top happy but I haven’t been despairing to the point of really negative thoughts.  I feel simply content with the situation.  Part of me thinks I should be doing more, but part of me knows I’m lucky to be completing the tasks I have set for myself right now.  I would think a month is a good enough lead in time to developing a few good habits — I am hoping I can step up things, just a tiny bit more, after 11/1/07.  I’m really invested in baby-stepping this process.  Baby-Stepping to a Healthier ME.

Yesterday was great in that I spent a lot of one-on-one time with my daughter, giving her my sole attention.  For one straight hour, I didn’t answer the phone, or do any housework or anything like that.  I just spent time with her and did things with and for her.  It felt really good.  I am going to start making that a huge priority.  We read more books yesterday than we have done in a long time.  We also did flash cards, and watched a show together.  We danced, and other things.

I am giving thought to increasing my workouts once my month of “fast break” is over.  To walk to lose weight I have read that it takes 45 to 60 minutes  of walking for weight loss.  I just can’t commit to that big a piece of time being outside, at least at this time of the year.  I am wondering if I can do three 20 minute walking sessions and get the same effects or does it have to be 60 straight minutes? (Yvonne?  Can you answer this question?)

Well, I actually have a lot of extra things that need done today–my sister and brother-in-law are coming to visit this weekend–so I need to go and address all those things so I can enjoy my afternoon with Lola. 

PS. I look HOT lately.  And I haven’t even lost the weight.  I’m actually back up to 190 and wondering when I will actually lose weight?!?  I am eating less calories and have increased my exercise level.  Should be a no brainer, right?  So where is the weight loss?  Aside from that, my skin looks pretty good, my hair looks great, I have some of that old energy back.  But I wouldn’t mind losing some weight people!!!

Today’s Inspirational Muse Provided By:

Groove Is In the Heart – DeeeLite
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic – The Police
In The Summertime – Mungo Jerry
Part-Time Lover – Stevie Wonder
Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
If You Leave – OMD
Shattered Dreams – Johnny Hates Jazz

Stay Positive!

Today, my intention is to stay positive and just keep on truckin’.

I didn’t do any housework yesterday, and that’s ok, but I need to do it today so that it doesn’t get piled up.

This is my 6th day of no soda.  I miss the energy boost of caffeine, but I don’t like any other caffeine sources — I don’t like tea or coffee.

I think that after I have been doing my different fitness routines for one month (that would be November 1) I will go out of Fast Break and into the next phase.

One thing I’m going to start doing is get an egg timer and set limitations on how long I spend on this computer.  Seriously.  I definitely waste a lot of time on this computer that I could be investing in myself or my daughters.

On the health side–I am slimming down in some areas — I could tell my gray slacks I wore to therapy and the parent-teacher conference were pretty darn loose at the waist and behind!  I still have a way to go because all the other slacks I have are still too tight to even wear.

Speaking of Parent-Teacher Conferences – Princess is of course doing great!  She has 5 A’s, a B+ (only 1 point away from an A! agh!) and another solid B.  The B is in Algebra.  The Algebra teacher said that for a kid who skipped pre-Algebra and went from basic math right into Algebra, she’s hanging in pretty good.  She is setting up a study/tutoring group for Princess and a couple other kids who came into Algebra without the pre-Algebra — so that they can be learning the core skills.  Princess is very good at math, so I know that once she gets those basics down she will be at the head of her class. 

In History she is doing awesome.  She got the best grade on their first History test of the year, the best grade of the whole 8th grade.  Yay Princess!

All her other teachers were full of praise for her too.  We heard a lot of comments that Princess is a leader, very outgoing and bubbly.  The Algebra teacher said, “Princess is so quiet and shy.”  That tells me Princess feels out of place because she is not up to where the other kids in the class are, because normally she’s all Hermione-ish in class.  So we will have to work on getting her a good foundation to carry through the rest of the year.

I’m really proud of her grades and hard work. 


I found a message thread on the Challenge Message Boards and I thought it was a great idea.

I am currently keeping track of my miles walked anyway, and I found the one to “Walk from Hobbiton to Rivendell” (Lord of the Rings theme), and there’s a website that has the milestones marked out for you so you know where you are at what mile you’ve walked to.  Not only can you do the first leg of the trip to Rivendell, but you can follow characters of the Fellowship all through the story, and when you get to the end, you can walk the whole way home with the hobbits!!

This is really neat and a twist to what I’ve already been doing.  So every day when I do my morning journal entry, on the right side of the screen I have a widget for this, and I’m going to post how many miles I am at, and the last milestone I passed. 

I also was intrigued by the 100 crunches each day challenge, and I am thinking that would be awesome, but I don’t know if I can handle 100 to start with.  I didn’t want to commit to it and not be able to stick to it (like my yoga challenge, which is proving really hard for me).  So I am thinking I will try 50 per day.  I can do this while hanging out with my little one watching TV in the afternoon. 

And the best one is going to be giving up soda.  Or should I say the Hardest?  It will be very rewarding in my weight loss plans, so I just need to make that motivational collage to put up to give me something to look at when Dr. Pepper is beckoning me to come and find him. LOL. 

So at this point, as my ROUTINE stuff everyday, I am doing my 20 minutes of fast walking each morning, then strength training on Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday, and yoga if I can every evening.  I am going to kick up the walking to 30 minutes after a month or so of walking and I can work myself up to it.

And these are my small “challenges” right now:

3 Day Mini Challenge – Yoga 3 days in a row
50 Crunches Per Day – no end date – just trying to create a streak and see how long I can go.
No Soda Challenge – no end date – just trying to create a streak and see how long I can go (this has to start tomorrow since I already had pop today)

I’m trying not to do too much.  What is cool is that the walking, daily stretching and strength training are all done very first thing, before Hubby even goes to work.  So it’s not overwhelming me to add the other things to do during the day.  If I had to be responsible for myself to do all of the morning exercise AND my personal challenges without Hubby’s support, then I don’t think I could handle it.

My Hubby is so awesome.  The last two days in a row, he has nudged me out of bed.  Is that not AWESOME?!

And this day is going great.  I have finished 95% of all my goals for the day — I still need to do the yoga, crunches, and do another load of laundry.  We are pleased.

Good day!

I was SO good today.  I’m pleased with the fact that I stayed pretty focused on getting the things done that needed to be done, and a few extra little things.  The BEST part is that I stayed in a positive mind set all day.  Not manic…just calm and happy.  I stayed within my calories/fat/carbs goals from SparkPeople today — the nutrition plan I have started to lose weight.  I have lost 2 lbs this week but that’s not really much, I fluctuate between 1 and 5 lbs all the time.  We’ll see how that goes.

Again, 6 out of 8 days of exercise….

I drank more than 8 glasses of water, and less than 2 cans of soda…

I bought 3 pairs of exercise pants — really comfy capris and yoga pants on the clearance.  I spent less than $25 for the 3 pairs.  I probably could have done better than that but I’m glad I got some pants.  I have left my 2 favorite pairs of yoga pants at my mom’s house!  But now I have some decent clothes to walk in (and sleep in)…

I went and took Princess to marching band practice.  I don’t know if I mentioned that she has been asked to march with the high school marching band for homecoming.  She is one of 4 8th graders that were asked.  She was singled out by the band teacher as doing a GREAT job.  They were soo good and she looked good out there, she looked like she’s been doing it forever.  And she looked gorgeous, so I’m hoping her crush from last year (Tom) who is in 9th grade (drum line — so cool), noticed her!  That would be nice for her self esteem…but of course if that happens I will be monitoring those interactions. 

She is grounded and life is pretty tough around here for her.  She’s slaving for us also — lots of extra chores.  She lied to us this weekend and although I’m too tired of discussing it to write it all out on here (I’m sorry), she is definitely going to get this lesson once and for all.  Fact is that she and her best friend are definitely going to be spending some time apart…and we are insisting that Princess expand her friend base and do things with more people for now.

Ok, I off to bed now, nite nite…

Today’s Inspirational Muse Brought to you By:

Gin & Juice – The Gourds
Guilty – Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb
Whip Appeal – Babyface
I Know There’s Something Going On – Frida
Forever Man – Eric Clapton
It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over – Lenny Kravitz
Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

Sneak Peek — Photos from Niece’s wedding!

Current mood: geekyI am still waiting for Tiffany to send us CD Roms of all the pictures from the wedding – Hubby took them and he took a whole lot of them…but she sent me a little teaser of pictures.  I cropped some of them to have close up individual shots of people as well.  I can’t wait to get my hands on the rest of them!

The Wedding Party:
(Princess, Me, Tiffany, Joey, Dave, and Nate)

The Bride & Attendants:

Bride & Groom:


Here are some cropped shots to have close ups of individuals:

The Bride:



The Groom:


The Bride & Groom:


Nate (Tiff’s brother, my nephew):


Me, Princess & Tiffy:



Princess (um, can you believe how grown up and gorgeous she looks?):




And a couple of me too:



And I will share more later!


What a pain in the butt.  I can’t get my slideshows from photobucket to work on wordpress.  So I have to plug them in one at a time. 😦

OK here are some pics from Lola’s bday, not all, just of her opening her favorite gift.





OK, here are some from Princess’s play…the other girls are Bree and TayTay.












Here are some pictures of the kids just hanging around.





And lastly, here are some pictures of one of the outfits I bought recently.  This isn’t the original cool outfit I bought, but one that I got that was sort of the same style.  I like this one because of all the bold color stripes.





Need to do THIS, want to do THAT

Current mood: contemplative

FIRST OF ALL let me say I put this entry on MySpace but I’m thinking I need to edit it, it is too much information for people I don’t want to have.

Well, it’s Saturday morning and my house is kind of messy.  I really need to straighten it up, I hate to feel chaotic.  Although some people would come in here and say it’s not bad, it is to me.  I’m not a “white glove clean” type of person (at least not every day), but I do not like to deal with clutter messing up the lines of my vision.  I have to be ok with *some* clutter because I have a 2 year old, but a lot of the things that are thrown around here actually belong to a 12 year old, and two 33 year olds who have no excuse.

I also need to sit down and pay my bills instead of putting it off, because that only gets us in trouble.  So my plan for today is to do a quick crisis cleaning of the house, getting all the clutter put away; and then a quick sweep and mop of the main floor because it really needs done.  My laundry is all done and I just have one basket of clothes to put away.  THEN, I will sit down and pay the bills.  If I get it done early enough in the day, I will take my girls and we will go and look around at Fashion Bug to see if there are any decent sales.  I went to Kohl’s the other day and found some really cute capri pants, and I want to find a certain kind of top to go with them. 

I have made a decision that I am going to rebuild my wardrobe with some different types of clothes.  I am actually beginning to figure out what looks good on my post-pregnancy frame and what I need to let go of.  I can be stylish, wear my bright, bold colors and patterns, and have comfortable material and yet be flattering to my figure.  I am beginning to see myself in a better light, and appreciate my figure again because I am dressing in clothes that fit me better than trying to squeeze into stuff that doesn’t fit me anymore.  It is funny how trying to squeeze into a size 14 jean can make you look HUGE and buying a size 16 that fits you properly can actually make you look SMALLER!!! 

My weight is still at 180, and I still want to get down to 170 by Memorial Day but I’ve been really bad food-wise since I went to Tennessee.  Hopefully I can keep motivated to get back to my soda-free regimen and incorporate the new exercise plan I have made, which includes the Nia workout which is kicking my ass (hopefully it will kick me down 10 lbs!).  After I meet this 10 lb goal, then I will review and set a new goal.  The reason I want to get to 170 is I know I will feel relief in my joint pain. 

The only way I am going to change all the bad habits I have is to make small, simple changes one at a time, and once I have them ingrained in me, then move on to the next.  My mistake, every single time, is that I try to do too much, too soon.

In other news, hubby is probably going to be force-transferred to another area for work.  I am trying to help him see the positives of it; he may end up being way higher on the seniority list at a new place, and get more selection when it comes to vacation scheduling, and other things.  He is not happy about the commute and I don’t blame him.  But he is like me in that he will be upset about the change for a while but ultimately accepts it and just tries to make the best of it.  We are still angling for a transfer to TN and we have recently made MAJOR headway towards our goal.  If things go well, we could even be in TN in the next 6 months.  We’ll see.  I am not going to hold my breath, because I have learned that having expectations is a sure-fire way to be disappointed.  We will keep trying to get where we want to be, even if it means we finally move to TN when we are 40!! LOL.

What I will say is that Hubby will not even hear of leaving the company we are working for.  Before we made some progress towards the goal recently, we had discussed the possibility that a transfer to TN may just not be possible for a while, and whether that will decide the issue for us.  He really wants to stay with the company.  He’s put almost 15 years into it and likes his job and especially when they let him learn the newer technology.  He feels the job security, pay scale and union protection are too good to give up.  I understand his point, because job security is so scarce these days, but it does make it possibly a longer wait, but if we reach our goal within his parameters we will be the best off we could possibly be other than winning a lottery (LOL).  It will be worth our patience.  The company has pretty good health and dental benefits, 401(k), pension, etc. and it is a very successful and national company.  In the recent issues with large car manufacturers and layoffs, etc., this company is still pretty secure because it is in the telecommunications industry and they are really abreast of the changing needs and offer services that are more in demand than ever.  So he wants to make sure that he still has that, and the excellent pay, when we move to TN because our money will go further (farther?) than it will here. 

As far as our snow-plowing business goes, it will probably not be a viable business in TN, but I know that he has a lot of skills he can tap into for his side business.  My brother in law is building a huge pole barn on his property, and part of it is a garage/workshop he is building for Hubby’s use (which I think is pretty nice of them).  Plus, he will keep his snow plows, because as we saw from a recent snowstorm in the area we want to live, they are not equipped to handle a larger snowfall and he could possibly make a lot of money when that happens. 

But even so, we are going to be happy to have milder winters than what we have here!!!  Just because we make money off the damned things, neither of us like living in the snow!

Well, I have certainly digressed from my original points.  And it is just a way for me to procrastinate what I need to do anyway.  So I will close now and get started on it!

Let me close in saying I love Hubby, he is my best friend in the world.  And my girls make me smile even on the worst days.  I am so thankful for that.


Start of a new week

Current mood: drained

The downside to adding your daughter and some of her friends onto your MySpeece account is that you have to censor your blogs!  I didn’t think that through.  😛

My little visit from Kitty was very nice.  We didn’t do a whole lot of exciting stuff really.  We went to Princess’s play, which was very good!  She did a great job, as did TayTay.  We went to the store for snacks and she bought a few of the skin products we determined were good for her skin through that new book I bought.  Then we got home around 9:00 and just up and decided to go out and see 300 that night.  Hubby was very gracious to watch the baby so we could go together.  A girl’s night!! 

We went to the 300 showing at 10:00 p.m.  We were 2 of 6 people that were in the theater.  We were the only women.  It’s probably good that none of the guys were sitting near us as we were openly commenting on the men’s deliciousness.  At one point the words “So hot…want to touch the heiny…” were uttered (that’s from Billy Madison…remember?).  But I was really surprised that Kitty really liked the storyline because she USED to be totally yucked out by battle scenes.  Time (and this media) does desensitize people.  She walked out totally obsessed as well, and planning her next trip to the theater to watch it again.

This really has nothing to do with the weekend, but I have to say I’m fast becoming obsessed with 300, and King Leonidas in particular.  The thing is, Gerard Butler, who plays Leonidas is not all that and a bag of chips if you see him on a regular day.  There is just *something* about the role of Leonidas, the portrayal, his dialogue, and the way they did him up for the role.  I normally don’t go for beards but he just looked unbelievable.  I love his teeth — he seems to be baring his teeth when he’s fighting and talking to his troops.  And the scottish accent helps a lot…I don’t care that it is incongruent to the story.  😀

But back to the weekend.  Friday morning, we all went to breakfast, and then Hubby took Lola and ran around while Kit and I went shopping.  We went to CVS first so I could get some hair color, and Kit bought a few more skin care items.  Then we went to the new shopping center and walked around.  We didn’t buy much except at Deb, I bought some really cute kimono style tops and an awesome pair of glittery jeans.

Then, we stopped at the nail place and I got acrylic nails put back on.  We had a great time chatting with my nail guy.  Asian, which of course seems to be the phenomenon at the smaller nail salons; he is really into oriental astrology and palm reading.  It was really cool, after we talked with him a bit, without revealing our birth years or anything he knew what our chinese zodiac sign was, and when we confirmed the year of birth, he told us things that were very particular about us. Then he read our palms.  It was kind of uncanny, but of course you have to take those things with a grain of salt.  Have I ever mentioned that I love my nail tech and my nail salon?  Talk about pampering!  And for a great price.

After that, we went home and hung out getting ready for the night out.  I colored my hair, we both fixed ourselves up pretty.  We didn’t dress up that much; Kitty wore a pair of corduroy capris (adorable), and I wore one of my new kimono tops and the glittery jeans.  My hair color looked really nice, but I seemed to put too much anti-frizz product in my hair so it was limp and wet looking even when it was dry.  So I brushed it straight back and wore a hair band, so it looked kind of cool anyway.

We went to Benihana’s for dinner.  Lola was challenging, but not as bad as usual.  She actually ate the onion soup and chicken fried rice with gusto.  Kit and I observed the married couple at the other side of our table arguing.  The man was “all up in her grill”, he seemed really possessive and kind of abusive-creepy vibes rolling off him.  He made her give him her cell phone and he checked all her incoming/outcoming calls.  She told him that he had been staring at the girl next to him since we sat down for dinner…and that girl WAS MY 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!!!  I was horrified.  Princess was very uncomfortable sitting next to them fighting like that.  The woman ended up leaving him!!  He finally figured it out and paid his bill and left.  Crazy, huh?

After dinner, we went and rented a couple of ovies for the girls, and then Hubby, Kit and I went to the local pub for karaoke.  Oh my, can you say INSANITY ON ICE???

The freaks were out in full force!!! 

Highlights:  I’m holding hands with my hubby over the table, he’s rubbing his thumb against my palm.  A big guy with a walrus mustache and no front teeth came over and asked me if my man was a palmist in a kind of condescending way (I have a really hard time with walrus-mustachioed toothless men that are condescending), “Is your man a palmist?”  So I just smiled and said, “No, hon, he’s an eroticist.”

The Raisin, a woman I might have mentioned here before, was there also.  Her desperate behavior was really hard to watch.  She would actually be somewhat attractive if she didn’t apply the makeup with a trowel.  She is very tan, leathery from the tanning booth.  She wears black eyeshadow with gold sparkles overlaid on it, and it goes up to the eyebrows, and sometimes PAST the eyebrows.  Peroxide blonde hair with roots showing.  The first time we saw her she had a really, really short skirt and cowboy boots (this can be cute sometimes, but not that night).  My man was one of the victims of her attentions the first night we saw her, and then last night she decided to lean over between me and Hubby on the table and sing the line of the song that was playing about needing a man.  Hubby looked nauseous which was amusing anyway.  I just looked at her with a face I usually save for the most freakish displays and Kit just shook her head and leaned toward her and went, “You poor thing…bless your heart.”  She got up and danced away.  I counted 6 guys she kissed, some of them had women standing right there with them.

If she had kissed MY man, she would have found herself kissing the floor.

A girl with long red hair and a sleeveless plaid shirt (a la Larry the Cable Guy) decided that she liked me A LOT.  She was out on the dance floor dancing by herself and I made the mistake of making eye contact with her.  She grabbed my hand and pulled me out to dance with her (hand holding dancing!).  I just kind of joked around and said, “This is great!  My hubby NEVER dances with me!” (which is not true but I was just babbling because I couldn’t believe I was dancing with a woman who wanted to wed and bed me).  After the song is over I retreated to my seat.  She bowed to me, kissed my hand, and apparently, while I was making faces at Kit who was laughing at me, she hissed, “Dance with her, motherfucker!” to Hubby!!!!

Hubby was none too pleased.  But I explained it was my fault for telling her he didn’t dance with me. 

Let’s see…what else.  There was this woman who was there, she was not the most svelte person in the bar, but she may well have been the most drunk.  She was wearing a tight pair of sweat pants with a t-shirt tucked in…I can hear the gasps of horror from you all.  She was very drunk and hung out a lot with red-head lesbian.  She eventually pulled the drawstring out of her sweat pants (they wouldn’t have fallen off her ass anyway they were so tight) and tried to tie her hair back with it.  She ended up only getting one side of it tied up and it was pointing askew from the side of her head.  Very amusing.

And really there were many more you would have been amused to hear about, but I am running out of steam to type it all out.

One thing that was very amusing is that Hubby got a bit hammered.  That doesn’t happen very often.  And it was very fun to watch.  Kit and I had a great time, just carrying on like we do and I sang 3 songs.  After we got home and we put Kit to bed in Princess’s room, my drunk husband’s inhibitions being way compromised, I took shameful advantage of him.  Much fun was had by all. 😉

Saturday morning, Kit had to leave.  We were both very sad.  But we’ll see her this next weekend when we stop for the night on the way to TN for spring break.  She may actually drive down to TN with us to stay a night and visit with everyone.  But with her schedule I’ll believe it when it actually happens!!

OK, I have really been going for a while.  I started writing this at 8:40 and now it’s 9:11.  I need to go because I have a ton of things to do today. 

See ya later!


Currently listening :
Ray of Light
By Madonna
Release date: By 03 March, 1998


Well, everyone here is still battling the chest cold, but I think we may be nearing the finish line.

We went out last night to Chilis for dinner, then we went to Best Buy and Borders.  I got the Body Clutter book I wanted, and I also got a great book called The Skin Type Solution (by Leslie Baumann, MD), which was recommended to me by my doctor.  It is awesome!  I read it last night, and today did some internet research, then went shopping for products recommended for my specific skin type.  It’s really awesome.  I’m hoping the products will finally give me some peace from all the irritation and redness and tightness I experience with everything I’ve tried.  Most every kind of sunscreen I’ve ever tried cause me swelling and redness.  This book shows you what ingredients you need to avoid for your specific skin type, and even makes non-biased recommendations of products.  For instance, for my skin type there are about 8 different cleansers she recommends, from cheapest to most expensive, including Neutrogena and Aveeno all the way to La-Roche Posay.  She does not work for any of these companies, does not sell any of these products.  But she has been testing skin care products for years and she recommends her favorites that seem to work best for your skin type.  The book has this thorough questionnaire you fill out to determine which of the 16 sub-types of skin you have.  The subtypes include Oily vs. Dry; Sensitive vs. Resistant; Pigmented vs. Non-Pigmented, and Tight vs. Wrinkle-prone. 

I am specifically an OSPW – which means Oily (very), Sensitive (extremely), Pigmented, and Wrinkle-Prone.  You could be Oily, Resistant, Non-Pigmented, Tight; see how that works?

Well, with her recommendations I have bought some of the lower end products she recommends to see if I can find some relief.  My skin type is one of the types that tends to have rosacea so all her recommendations are for rosacea, acne prone skin as well as very sensitive to ingredients and other stressors.  Dr. Baumann’s website is called www.16skintypes.com, and you can go there and read all her information and go to the message board forums and there you will find people who have read and use this system, and they all compare and review skin products according to skin type, so you can see if people with similar skin than yours fared well with this product or that one.

Now that I’ve gleaned all the information I could from that book, I’m reading a book called The Thrify Girl’s Guide to Glamour by Susie Galvez.  I have found a couple of cool ideas so far, but I’m only on page 29.  I have been making plans to get my hair trimmed and I’m going to color it, and I’m starting a new skin care regimen.  After I am sure that my wisdom tooth surgery recovery is finished, I’m going to start a 30-day tooth whitening kit that I got from my dentist.  I figure, while I’m trying to make the dietary changes I am making, and trying to lose a little weight, I can still look my best so I’m going to get the other areas I CAN change taken care of. 

I’m really excited, Miss Kitty is coming up for a visit this week.  She will be arriving on Thursday, and staying until Saturday morning.  Thursday, she is going to go to Princess’s play, where Princess has a lead role.  Then on Friday, we’re all going to go to Benihana’s for dinner, and then Princess and TayTay are going to babysit Lola while Kitty, Hubby and myself are going to go out to karaoke.  Saturday morning, we’ll get up and go to breakfast, and kiss Miss Kitty goodbye again. 😦

I have realized something very important in reference to my soda/sugar addiction.  It is impossible to have these things in the house.  I will continue to hit the supply until it is gone.  So…it is almost all gone now, so I am simply not going to buy any more soda right now.  On my soda day, I will buy ONE to drink.  That’s all I can do.  I wish I liked diet soda, but I just don’t.  I wish they had “reduced” calorie sodas, like half regular half diet.  Maybe that would taste better!!!  But I did decide that when I DO have a soda day, I’m going to have caffeine free soda.  At least I can really give up caffeine.  It’s the sugar that I’m struggling with.

I am not planning on buying a whole lot of new clothes or anything, just going to keep using what I have that works with my figure.  Once I reach the 170 mark I will probably go out and buy myself a couple of things and set a new goal.

Well, back to reading.  Just thought I’d check in.  Still recovering from my nightmare last night, but that’s usually how it is when I have a particularly bad one.


Friday Evening…

My internet’s been down most of the day.  Hubby came home from work (finally!) and fixed it for me.  36 hours straight at work will do a guy in…he looked so tired.  He went to bed at 6:00 p.m. and I’m sure I won’t see him awake again until tomorrow!!

Princess only had a half-day of school today, so when she got home, we set out in the wonderful weather and started shopping for a few things for Lola’s room.  I scrimped and saved all this past pay period and today’s payday and I still had $60.  I took that plus some extra funds we had on this paycheck and went and got a few things to fix up her room.  I got some material to make curtains and ties, a pillow cover, a new cover for the cornice so I can hang a little canopy over the bed (safely, of course).  I got her a little table and chairs, a Disney Princess nightlight, and some pink and green storage bins and tubs.  I also got 3 of those stackable milkcrates, which I may have Hubby affix to the wall so I can use as a bookshelf.  I got her a little play rug for the floor too.  I am not remembering everything I got, but I did pretty good, got a lot of stuff on sale.

I’m really wiped out right now.  This is day 2 of the no-soda project, and I’m definitely sleepy from the lack of caffeine.  But otherwise I’m feeling pretty proud of myself for going 2 days without any pop.  We ate dinner at a restaurant today, and instead of a soda I had pink lemonade.  Surprisingly enough, I actually didn’t mind drinking it, although I did miss the fizziness of soda.  My therapist suggested buying soda water and mix it with juice if I like the bubbles so much.

I have been refraining from mass quantities of chocolate as well.  I did have a couple of cookies with a few chocolate chips in them, but no candy, no chocolate cakes or anything like that.

I am not doing so good with the exercise thing.  I didn’t exercise yesterday, nor have I exercised today, unless you count walking around stores for 3 hours as exercise.  I don’t.  I will try to muster up enough energy to do 15 minutes of yoga before bedtime.  If I don’t get the exercise part of the agreement going, I can’t have my reward pop next weekend.  And I do want to make it to my reward pop.  LOL. 

I have definitely noticed that my skin looks tons better just after two days of drinking lots of water and absolutely no pop or chocolate.  My facial skin feels smoother and softer, too.  It’s still a little red, but nothing compared to what it had been before.  If it really does seem to be connected to my skin looking so horrible, I may have found my motivation for quitting soda completely.  It’s funny, but the weight thing isn’t enough of a motivation, but clearing my skin up may well be. 

I’m going to start weighing myself on Mondays.  So on Monday coming up I will post my weight.  If, by chance, I lose the 5 lbs way before April 1, it will be my goal to keep that 5 lbs off until April 1.  If I lose more in the meantime, that’s good too.  I’m hoping the more time I put between the sodas I drink, the less I will want one.  After I get over that particular hurdle, I’ll be ready to tackle another small change. 

Right now, I’m going to go and sit and enjoy my little Lola for a while.  Hopefully she will go to bed without a fight this evening, because I really really need some sleep! 

Tomorrow, I will be working on Lola’s room and Princess is going to an sleepover at TayTay’s.  Hubby doesn’t have a day off work until next Friday, so I don’t envy him.  But I will kiss him 2 weeks from now when we get that big fat paycheck.

Night everyone!