To-Do Update

This is the list I posted earlier, with updates as to what I’ve gotten done as of 2:20 p.m. in the afternoon.

1. Weekly cleaning (1 hour)  Only 15 minutes done so far…need to work 45 more.

2. Run some Pure Romance products to a friend & get paid.  Finished

3. Go to bank, cash checks.  Finished

4. Go to post office, mail stuff to niece that I should have mailed last week (UH OH)  Finished

5. Grocery  NOT YET

6. Call Kitty re: weekend trip to Cincinnati.  Called, waiting to see what TDR says.

In addition, I’d like to:

7. Clean car Picked up most of the garbage, still need to vacuum and wipe down

8. Continue working on clearing out closet/Lorelei’s room NOT YET

9. Call or go to library Went to library, got cards, checked out books.

10. Do some budget adjustments to allow for some additional income and updated bills received.  NOT YET.

So now, I only need to do the weekly cleaning, grocery shopping, vacuum the car, and if time allows, some budgeting and closet cleaning.

Off I go, then.  Seriously, this time, I’m going.  Even though I’ve said that twice before today…I’m really done for now.  I will only come back when everything else is done.  Really.  Seriously.  For real.


Drivin me nuts!

Somebody is feeling a bit needy today.  I’d like to write about it, but she’s hanging on my arm as I’m typing.  Insanity…

My hubby is home, I had great intentions for today, but alas, alack, he has stuff to do outside, of course.

You’d think he gets enough of being out in the ass-freezing cold every day at work.  But no, this is a chance for him to use the cute little snow plow mount for his lawn tractor.  LOL.  It is actually cute to see his face as he shovels the snow around with his little teeny plow.  I’ve seen that same look on Princess when she’s riding a particularly fun amusement park ride.  He gets so much pleasure out of simple things.  So, what do you think he gets out of a complexity like me?  No one knows.

I’m feeling funny today.  Good, yet not good.  The part of me that’s enjoying being all efficient is warring with this other part of me that says, “Lay around, watch movies, be a bad girl!”  Well, my decision is this — It’s 2:00 p.m. now.  I will continue my progress around the home until about 4:30.  Then, I’m done for the day, end of story.  I am going to lay under a blankie, drink my Dr. Pepper and read HP4.  Then, I will watch a string of chick flicks and force my husband to sit there with me while I do it.  During which time, he will rub my feet with a heat massager thingy.  LOL.  But of course, you know that he will get his stinky feet massaged too.  😉

I’ve decided one of my new favorite songs is “Snow (Hey oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers.  How is it that EVERY album they produce, I love almost every single song?  Anthony Kiedis is adorable.

I just came back to this, I started this at 2:04 and now its 3:30.  I have stuff to do, so I’ll check ya’ll out later.


Something to offend everybody — Cincinnati Barbies

This will only be funny to Cincinnati natives but still amusing, and had to share.

Mattel announced the release of Cincinnati Limited Edition Barbie Dolls: 

Indian Hill Barbie: This Princess Barbie is sold only at Kenwood Mall or
Newport Beach, California. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Jaguar, a lapdog and custom-designed house. Options include: tummy tuck, face lift and a Workaholic Ken. 

Hyde Park Barbie: This set includes Aging Trophy Wife Barbie and is available with the Lexus or Mercedes SUV. Her exquisite detail includes expression of being perpetually lost due to her lack of a job or a clue. Accessories include Money-Losing Hobby Business in O’Bryonville, Golden Retriever and assorted mugs from
Manhattan coffee shops. Traffic jamming cell phone, matching gym outfit and hunky “personal trainer” sold separately. 

Over the Rhine Barbie: Recently Paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, Ray Lewis knife, and a slammed Chevrolet with cat eyes, oversized wheels and tinted windows. Deluxe set includes Police Brutality Protester Ken with “It’s Not My Fault” placard. Also available is the special 2001 limited edition Riot Pack which includes Fictional Church Reverend Ken with megaphone and five police night sticks. 

Cheviot Barbie: Featuring Cornhole Barbie with beanbags and throwing action arm, this set includes

Home with linoleum kitchen and 60’s powder blue table. The kitchen is exceptionally detailed with goetta cooking in the frying pan and a six-pack of Hudy Delight in the fridge.  Lunch pail-toting Blue Collar Ken with welding torch sold separately. 

Mariemont Barbie: This set includes Yuppie Snob Barbie, two Aryan children, choice of BMW 3-series or accessorized Hummer 2 (both with “My Child Is Superior To Yours” bumper sticker), Starbucks cup, Platinum credit card and Shallow Ken. Available clothing sets include: the “Stay in
Fairfax until you hit six figures” T-shirt and matching sweat suit. 

Batavia Barbie: Sold exclusively at Eastgate Mall, this set Includes White-Trash Barbie with Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a Jeff Gordon T-shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. A special water reservoir allows her to spit up to 5 feet. Black and blue make-up kit is included in accessory pack with Teamsters Ken with the ribbed wife-beater t-shirt. Other accessory kits include the Dodge pickup with Confederate flag and WEBN bumper stickers. 

Clifton Barbie: Set includes Pierced Barbie and Delta Chi pledge paddle. Disheveled Socially Conscious Ken also available with oversized pants. 

Western Hills Barbie (also sold as Price Hill Barbie): Available with your choice of 70s flip hairdos, a Ford Ranger pickup, and a pit bull.  This Barbie has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer teeth, extra tight Daisy dukes with camel toe detail, and half T-shirt revealing Harley-Davidson tattoos. Both versions are talking versions with five curses preprogrammed. 

Norwood Barbie: This set includes Cigarette-smoking, brassy-haired Barbie. She wears high-heeled sandals from Payless with breaking heel.  Beer Gut Ken with Mullet sold separately. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in ! sparkly bubblegum pink gloss. Her ensemble includes acid-washed jeans with barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted with black roots. Accessories include: CD player equipped with Bon Jovi and a Camaro Z-28 with T-Tops. 

Chester Barbie
: Last but not least is the newest Barbie sold only at Target on Fields-Ertel or Tylersville Roads. She’s dressed in a Polartec fleece jacket and Tencel cropped pants. Accessories include a Honda Mini-Van with four soccer playing children. Mason/West Chester Ken can be purchased at the Delta Terminal gift shop in the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport.

Half the Day Has Passed…

Mood: Discouraged
Listening To: The Wiggles
Reading: Articles on why your toddler won’t eat.

I have applied to about 10 to 15 jobs today online.  I am hoping I get some reponse.  I’m starting to feel a little discouraged.  I have this amazing skill set and experience, but this is where I see evidence of my bipolar tendencies, and they are biting me in the ass.  I can never seem to stay at any job for more than 2-3 years.  So in my 18 years experience, I’ve had quite a few jobs.  And I don’t list some of the more disastrous, short lived jobs on my resume.  I live in dread that a background check will dig it up but what can you do? 

I have actually gone into a job, worked anywhere from one day to a month and just couldn’t handle it, or it sucked, or people were mean, or whatever.  So what do I do?  I just pack up my stuff and walk out.  Really, I’ve done it a few times.  I guess that makes me a flake, probably undesirable as an employee!  But on the other hand, every job that I do stay and and work for, I work really hard for them while I’m there, and often am responsible for implementing huge changes to their work procedures.  I have been nominated for Employee of the Year a few times, and even though I leave my jobs after 2-3 years I generally get excellent references from past employers.  I tend to bond with my coworkers and bosses on a really emotional level as well.  I could probably go back and get jobs at several of my previous employers if they had positions available or were local.

What would be the ideal job is something like I used to do at Taft (a Cincinnati law firm).  I was on the evening shift word processing team.  I worked from 3 to 11 p.m.  I loved the job and the hours.  But my coworkers on the shift were long-time workers and basically were slackers.  When I came in there and started busting ass like I do, they started resenting me.  I didn’t work extra hard to make them look bad, I worked extra hard because that’s what I do.  I got a reputation for being a go-to person on the night shift so the attorneys would pass up the “work drop off” desk and go directly to me to ask for help with high-priority stuff.  I did not ask them to do this.  I even moved to the back of the room to work, but they’d still come back to me like I was a supervisor or something.  I swear I did nothing but work hard and do my best at my job, I didn’t invite this attention.  Also, I was extra nice to the ladies I worked with.  We worked downtown Cincinnati, and every evening I would go out and pick up everyone’s dinner for them and bring it back.  If they had something crappy to do and didn’t want to do it, I always took the crappy jobs.  All I got in return was the silent treatment from them all. 

After a few months of being treated like that and having no one to talk to (except when dinner time rolled around), I asked for a meeting with the department head (during daytime shift hours).  I asked him if I was doing a good job.  He said I was the best worker they had ever had and that he had received so many commendations about me from attorneys and senior partners.  Then, he grinned and said that he had also gotten an “anonymous” letter of complaint about me from my coworkers.  Apparently they resented how fast I worked, it made the attorneys expect more than they could provide, etc., and that I tried to be the boss on the night shift.  I asked him if he believed it, and he said he didn’t because I work two or three hours with the day shift people so he saw how I worked every day.  He told me when he got my note about a meeting he went to meet with the Firm Administrator.  She told him she wanted to offer me a position in Administration.  This took me out of Word Processing and pretty much I was on a level with my old supervisor in some ways, in that I could go into Word Processing and give them work to do (so I guess I “could” be the boss of night shift if I wanted).  I took the position, and I didn’t like it.  If I could have stayed doing Word Processing in the evenings I might have enjoyed it.  But the old biddies ruined it for me.

But anyway, if I could find a word processing job, either at home, part time, or afternoons or evenings, that would be great.  I think it would be nice to have a simple job where I wouldn’t have to take the stress home at night.  A job where your to-do list really does get checked off with each document or project you finish.  Rather than ongoing duties that just wear you down.  I am so tired of being a peon and having to shoulder most of the burden while the supervisor looks like a hero.  If I’m going to be a peon, might as well be in a no-brain-damage job that I can just do and go home. 

Some people have a calling, a career that really fulfills them in a way.  My calling is just to be me, develop relationships, raise my children, be a super wife, and be the best person I can be.  I want to be a succulent, wild woman and experience pleasure in my life every day.  I don’t want to be married to a job.  My life starts at the end of the work day when I go home to the people that matter to me.  The only careers that speak to me are writing, and being a musician.  I would love to sing and play music.  Singing-wise, I’m probably not a good enough singer to make it, but I still enjoy it.  If I ever could purchase my harp, once I learn about 20 songs, I can get jobs playing at weddings and other events, or at fairs and festivals and make money that way. For instance, a harpist can make $200 to $300 at one wedding ceremony.  JUST THE CEREMONY!!! 

Getting a harp and getting lessons is one of my goals outlined in therapy.  So hopefully I will actually achieve it.

Short-term goals in therapy are to keep a food diary for a month.  I’ve already skipped 3 days of it, so I need to catch up, and to find at least a part-time job because I need to get out of the house on my own.

Some of my goals are:

Short term (1 to 4 months):

  • Get my house reorganized
  • Set up Lola’s room
  • Create a frugal, workable budget
  • Start an exercise program
  • Lose 10 lbs.

1 Year Goals:

  • Give up caffeine
  • Cut down drastically on sugar and refined flour
  • Eat more fruits and vegetables
  • Drink more water
  • Lose 30 lbs.
  • Pay off small credit debts
  • Buy harp
  • Start harp lessons
  • Get into a good schedule/routine
  • Learn to manage my bipolar disorder

2-5 Year Goals:

  • Pay off larger credit debts i.e., 2nd mortgage, 401(k) loan
  • Make improvements to house to increase sellability
  • Move to Tennessee
  • Start playing music for income
  • Begin saving more money
  • Learn to belly dance
  • Reach optimal physical fitness

6-10 Year Goals

  • Pay off mortgage
  • Become totally debt free and financially independent
  • Build my dream house
  • Raise two beautiful daughters

Well, I need to go now and do some things around the house.  This turned out to be long-winded.



So, I got a LOT of stuff done yesterday.  But when I laid down for bed, OH MY GOSH…my back and chest muscles went into spasms.  For a little bit the hubby thought I was having some sort of attack.  I was…I was having an attack of the angry muscles.

But I was so tired, I still fell asleep not long after I popped two Aleves.  Hubby rubbed my back for a while, but then when I tried to flip over that’s what started the chest muscle spasms.  I was floundering around like a beetle on its back.  It was quite amusing I’m sure, to a bystander.

My house is clean.  I am in pain but intending on continuing the trend to see how much I can get accomplished.  I would enjoy the holidays so much more if I didn’t have a bunch of stuff hanging over my head.  And who knows how ling the energy will last so I’m taking advantage of every minute while I can. 

Today was the Day 1 of my new 12 Days of Christmas tradition.  Today, and every day until Christmas Eve, the kids and Hubby are going to get a small gift from me.  Today, Princess got a LipSmackers lip gloss, and the baby got “The Nose Book”, it’s a Dr. Seuss book about noses.  I wish I could explain to you how the baby sounds when she says “nose.”  She likes to go around grabbing your nose and honking it, or just pushing it with her finger and beeping it.  And she’ll say in this really nasal tone, “nooooose”.  It’s cute. 

The hubby will have a really cool car visor photo frame filled with pictures of the girls and maybe one of me.  It has a clip and attaches to the visor and he will be able to see us all day.  He will like this.  He has pictures of the girls all over his work truck.  I think there may be a picture of me but have never bothered to look and see.  But now, he will have me too. 

Every day will hold a surprise for my loveys.  Nothing big, mostly little cheap things but I think it will make Christmas more fun.  The next thing that I need to do is get a special ornament for the “golden pickle” tradition.  This is one that Princess wants to do.  Apparently, you hide this special ornament on Christmas day in the tree, and the person who finds it gets a special treat.  Of course, we are not using a “golden pickle” ornament, we will find something else that is fun and use that.

Another thing we are planning on doing is our “memory box”.  I bought a beautiful storage box with Christmas designs on it.  Every year, each of us will place something in the box secretly, without everyone else knowing. This thing will be a memento, picture or note about something great that happened during the year that is ending.  Then, on Christmas day, we will open it together, and look at the things.  Plus, all the items from the previous years will be in there, and we can look at all our great memories for every year.  It will get more and more full of wonderful memories.  Everyone really liked that idea.  Princess and I are going to get some pictures and she is going to write about some of her favorite memories since she was born, and Hubby and I will go through and put things in the box from the time we have been together, too.  I think it will be our favorite thing.

In addition, Princess and I discussed that we should make little love notes for each other and put them in the tree.  For instance, I’d write one to her, one to the baby and one to Hubby.  Hubby would write to me and the girls.  Princess would write to her sister and me and dad.  When the baby gets big enough, she can do it to.  I don’t know what kind of format we will use.  I am thinking of getting some 4×6 cards and writing questions and then having everyone fill it out about each other.  Something different each year.  And those will go in the memory box too. 

Another thing I’m thinking of doing is taking everyone down to Ann Arbor and volunteering for a little while at a shelter.  I think it will be good for us all to see that although we think we have it tough, we could have it a lot tougher, and that will hopefully make people more thankful for the blessings we have.

OK, I need to get going on my stuff for today.  Pray that the Aleve helps so I can continue doing laundry!


Let’s Write Something

I don’t know who I am going to tell about my blog, if anyone.  I would like to keep certain individuals from “knowing too much”.  I may even keep this from Hubby as well. 

Maybe I should start a bio so people will know a bit more about me. 

Today is a day I am trying to be productive. I really need to write more in this thing.  I think it would be good for me.

I am in therapy, dealing with bipolar II disorder, so I am usually depressed, rarely “hypomanic” which basically means in a good mood but not crazy manic like bipolar I’s.  I am also dealing with sunlight deprivation from living up here in the cold north.  It is also a huge thing that I am displaced, don’t live near my loved ones.  It makes me really sad.  My husband and I are working hard to relocate to Tennessee. 

I am going to continue working around here.  I have to keep going because it’s not often I get momentum going.


Trivial Nonsense

Current mood: impressed

So…last night, Hubby & I went to BW3’s for wings and trivia.  I played trivia only PART of the night, mind you and guess what?

I got the HIGHEST trivia score EVER for this BW3’s in its history.  I was 20th in the nation for high scores yesterday, and I brought this BW3 from 359th place to 18th place pretty much on my own.

So, sometimes I can be smart about stuff.  Sometimes.  I *heart* Trivia games.


Pictures Part Deux

Current mood: nervous

Per the request of Ms. Y, I am posting better pictures of my new hairdo and color.  I’m not very photogenic today.  And it looked better when I first did it yesterday evening.  I haven’t rewashed it or anything so this is second day and as we know your hair never looks as good the second day.  Please note the widow’s peak is “in full effect” today.  And don’t forget to check out the earlier pictures I put on here too.







Current mood: blah

My hubby just got home from work at 8:30 p.m.  Got called out on another job not even 5 minutes later.  So, I’m alone, kids are in bed.

So…I have lost 12 lbs. since last month.  I haven’t been really focusing on it, but I have been cutting down on soft drinks/caffeine.  I am currently undermining my own efforts by eating chocolate fudge cake frosting directly out of the can.  OK.  2 Tbsp is 130 calories.  I’d say I have had 10.  So that is 5 x 130 = 650 calories.  And that is 6g fat x 5 = 30g fat.  I’d say the scale will say I’m back up to 196 tomorrow.  I have to get this frosting out of this house.  And the Halloween candy. 

I want to get down to 170 for now.  I am at 184.  If I can get down there, I will set myself another goal to lose a bit more.  But the way I’m doing it is not healthy.  I hardly eat anymore, except one meal a day usually and its not as much as I used to eat at one sitting.  For instance, went out with Sis-in-law for dinner the other night, got a filet mignon, etc.  I ate most of the steak but didn’t finish it (8 oz), didn’t eat my veggies or mashed potatoes.  Only had one piece of bread  before the dinner came.  I did have salad, but didn’t eat all of that.  Dessert, only had a few bites and let Princess finish it.  Normally I would have eaten every bite of everything.  Just not that hungry lately.

I need to get some structure back in my life.  I really feel like just a tad bit of structure would help me immensely.  And the more I think on it, the more I am convinced that I should get out of the house more, via a part time job of some sort.  I think it would be good for me, and I think it would perhaps be good for Lola, even if I am working days and she has to go to daycare.  The guilt from that I am trying to understand — I just feel like I would be abandoning Lola.  No offense to any working moms out there, I am pretty sure this will be my only baby ever, and I just wanted to raise her up, be home with her, teach her everything myself.  But losing our asses financially is not an option either.  Working actually may be just taking the easy way out, I could probably make this work if I got super-frugal around here, but with my bipolar situation, I have a lot of work to do to conquer my spending habits.  Really, I dont’ have any idea which way is up.  OK?  No answers yet.  The more I write about this the more confused I am.  Ugh.  I need my therapist.

I’m going to go now, lay down on the couch and listen to “Movin’ Easy” channel on Sirius Radio. 

Hello world!

I have no idea how to get started on WordPress, but I thought I’d just type a little bit of an introduction here.  My pseudonym here is borrowed largely from the Dark Tower series of books by Stephen King.  Many people who have read these books can tell you that they draw you in so deeply you almost feel they are real.  Or, maybe, that’s just me. 

This blog likely will have nothing to do with Mr. King or the Dark Tower.  I was just looking for something really unusual and hard to find and link to me.  I have had a couple of really nosy people in my life find my old blogs, and that basically means I have to censor myself because I don’t want to deal with all the drama.  I want this blog to be truly and totally anonymous.  I will perhaps tell one of my former blog friends about it, but that is it.  And only with the strictest confidence that they will not link me from their journal or anything!

For all I know, the aforementioned people will probably find me anyway.

I am considering this new blog part of a new chapter of my life that I am ready to start.  I will expand more on this later.



Did I ever mention that I have a high IQ?


You’d think I’d be loaded by now, but I’m not. I haven’t always made wise choices, so that will show you that just because you are intelligent, you can still be a jackass and make jackass mistakes.

However, I have to admit, that even though some things in my life are not quite the optimum scenarios I had pictured, some smart decisions I made in the last 10 years are now coming to fruition and I can see that I do sometimes make decisions with wisdom and intelligence.

But really, what does that IQ number really mean? Not much. I definitely refrain from the use of elaborate verbiage when I pontificate. I’m a plain spoken genius. LOL.

I don’t know why I wrote that, except that someone was discussing my IQ with me today.


A Funny One For Today

This is a really good one . . .

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, “Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their wives.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark.

Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system! . My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.”

“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls — but no go!”

“When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. I am required to apply for 834 different licenses to keep wild beasts on private property.”

“Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood. Further, the pitch to water-proof the ark has been banned by the EPA as inimical to the environment.”

“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The scaffolding to build the super structure is not OSHA-approved and is forbidden to use except for private structures less than 5 cubits…”

“The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 100 years for me to finish this Ark.”

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean You’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. “The government beat me to it.”

LOL, how true!


Guess what? I got a call last night from a lady that was referred to me by my mentor in the new business I’m starting. She has a bachelorette party this weekend she wants me to do. There will be at least 10, but up to 20 people! I am sooooo nervous! And I have TONS to do to get ready, so I can’t stay on here long.

Just wanted to let you know that someone must have been sending me good vibes yesterday, and I really appreciate it.

Wish me luck!!!