“I stumbled into town…just like a sacred cow…”

I don’t know why I titled this entry like that, except that I am listening to David Bowie and his lyrics give me such joy.

Well, the rain has stopped for a while, and the sun is out, big fluffy clouds floating overhead.  I am in my lovely office…just thought I’d write ANOTHER update.

Today I had an EMG to diagnose my problem with my left hand.  They did find a pinched nerve in my elbow; he classified it as “severe”.  It is the cubital tunnel syndrome, so I will go back to the doctor and we will form a game plan.  I hope that game plan does not involve immobilizing my left arm for any length of time.  How will I be able to pick up Lola or do my typing?

I finished the last stage of the hiring process with SpeakWrite.  I turned in my sample jobs and they will be looked over and I will be given an opportunity to fix any mistakes; then they will let me know if I am hired or not.  Please, say a prayer that I get this job.  It is exactly what I have been looking for in a job, for so long.  It’s based at home, I don’t have to even put on a stitch of makeup, and I don’t have to deal with arrogant attorneys or even anyone face to face.  I do my work then I sign off.  It’s exactly what I want.  No more taking my work home with me emotionally.  Just type it and let it go.

I need to get my house cleaned up, laundry done and car cleaned out before we leave to go to Cincinnati on Friday.  I will get started on that now.  I just thought I’d let you know those little tidbits.

I really need to get back into a writing groove.

I am sitting here, trying to 1) figure out what of the million things on my mind I should write about; and 2) trying to understand why just logging onto this blog is causing me to feel the anxiety again.  Seriously.  My whole body starts to ache and I’ve got that “first hill of the roller coaster” feeling, just crazy!  What is up with that?

Even writing scares me right now.  I am afraid to record my thoughts?  I have no idea what the problem is but I am really having a hard time sharing right now. 

Hold on, I am sick to my tummy – gotta run to the little girl’s room. (sorry, TMI)

Well, I am back, and I have decided now is not the time to write.  I wish I could, I really wish I could.  But now is not the time.

Thoughts and Ruminations

OK, this is just going to be a stream-of-consciousness thing so bear with me.

1) Since I quit my job on February 4, everyone recovered from their illnesses within just a couple of days, and haven’t been sick since.  Hm………

2) We got a motorcycle.  We traded our truck for it, since we couldn’t seem to sell it.  It is a very nice motorcycle.  A Honda Goldwing Aspencade – a real touring bike.  I look forward to summer.

3) Sometimes I feel like my husband doesn’t love me anymore.  Tell me I am a dumb ass.

4) I have a ton of things to do around here to continue getting ready for Lola’s birthday this weekend.  I am not doing them.  I am writing this.

5) I have a job interview on Wednesday.  I am not going to say anything further because I don’t want to jinx it, but Wednesday afternoon at 3 p.m., if you could send some positive energy my way and prayers or whatever medium you prefer; that would be nice.  This job would be IDEAL.

6) I cannot believe my Lola bean will be Three Years Old tomorrow.  I cry.

7) I feel happy and unhappy.

8) I need to go out and get birthday stuff, including cupcakes to take to Lola’s class tomorrow, and ordering a birthday cake for Saturday.  I do not want to go out tonight.  But I guess I have to. 

9) I am feeling some resentment towards my husband.  I have so much to do and he knows that, and he has not asked once since he got home “Is there anything I can do to help?”  The only thing he has done is take the laundry down to the basement for me.  Now he is outside working on the bike so he will not come back in until I complain that I need him to come in and then I will be a bitch. 

10) I hate leaving on an odd number so I’ll write this to end on.

Bye.

Liz