I am sitting around on Saturday, just enjoying being home and being with my daughter.
This week went OK. My first 3 days of work went OK too; it was pretty much just “peon” work — busy work — filing, copy jobs, etc. I am sure that they will be wanting me to do other things as I get acclimated, but for now it is just low-end clerical. I am not sure I would be happy in this kind of position, as my skills would be highly underutilized. However, it could be a nice foot in the door for getting a job at the Prosecutor’s Office or moving up in the Probate Department.
Then again, there is something to be said for brainless work that is not too taxing. If the job just ended up being stuff like this, I could really enjoy not having to work too hard and make a decent wage, along with the excellent governmental benefits.
I have been enjoying getting out of the house and being around other adults. I am enjoying feeling useful and productive. I do enjoy eating lunch by myself outside of the house and being alone with my thoughts like I used to when I was working. I am less than a block away from the New Age bookstore, so I will probably trek out there next week and spend some time. I love bookstores like this one; they always inspire me to live my life more consciously and deliberately. Starbucks is several blocks away, to my chagrin, because getting a hot chocolate every morning would add to my enjoyment even more.
I do like most of my coworkers. There is this one that seems a bit bitchy at times but she is friendly enough when I approach her to talk. Apparently this is not her normal behavior (the bitchiness) but she is angry with the supervisor and she is very good at holding a grudge. And oh wow — I came in yesterday and they were in their Friday staff meeting; and it became VERY heated. It was this employee and the supervisor, I think. Raised voices, cussing, etc. If this is how it is in those meetings I’m not sure if I like that. I will continue to observe the dynamics between people. I would sure hate to be thinking this job is something it will not be if I stay permanently.
The hardest part of it all has been missing and worrying about Lola. I have been calling every day at lunch and I get the report — she is doing great. She seems to really enjoy it and she wants to go every morning. When I wake her up and say, “Let’s get ready for school,” she says “OK!” and cheerfully gets up and lets me clean her up. Once we are gathering things to head out the door she’ll have a moment of unwillingness because she wants to watch TV, but once I get her to the back door to put on her coat she is fine, and eager to go, again. Once she gets there she takes off her coat and runs off to play with the other kids. She does cry if she sees me heading out the door but I assume that she gets over it quickly, just like she does when anyone else is babysitting her.
When I call they tell me that she has been eating her snack, eating her lunch, and taking a nap with the rest of the kids. Yesterday I got a packet of work and art she did during the week and I was really impressed. I didn’t know she could use scissors and cut things out!!! They have weekly themes and this week the color was brown, the number was 5 and the letter was S. I am thinking this is actually working out well for her. I will continue to watch her and see if she is happy. OH, they are working with her on the potty training, so that is another good thing. The fact that they know our family because Princess used to go there for before/after school daycare really helps. I have a good rapport with them. This daycare is a family run entity–the mom is the owner, and her son and daughter both work there. They both have children in the daycare as well. As a matter of fact, Dan (not his real name), the son’s — daughter seems to be Lola’s special friend. Her name is Lila. So it’s Lila and Lola (LOL).
She is happy when I pick her up. “I am so happy to see you, Mommy!” She can’t wait to get home and see her sissy and her daddy. She cries, “I’m Home! I’m Home!” when we pull in the driveway. And when I ask her if she had fun at school, she says, “Yes.” So I guess daycare is agreeing with her. I love her so much. Being away from her all day is making me appreciate her more. And there is something to be said about her not being in front of the TV all day long like she has been doing all this time.
Mornings have been a challenge for us. I am going to have to get into some sort of routine to make this all go more smoothly. Four people getting ready at the same time, leaving at the same time, etc. One bathroom…well needless to say that is amusing to watch.
I have been taking Zoloft for a week now, along with my Lamictal and so far that seems to be helping. I am feeling much more hopeful and happy with things. I don’t know how I am going to be able to squeeze in exercise now that I only get 4 hours in the evening with my little one and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. Getting up earlier is not an option right now because I can barely drag my ass out of bed in the morning as it is.
I think if I can get my house cleaned up today, we can set up the Christmas tree tomorrow when Hubby is off work.
Take care, everyone.