And on the bad side of things…

I went to the orthopedic doctor yesterday.  I *do* have to get surgery on my arm to fix the problem in my hand.  You guys have no idea how much this sucks.

They will make an approximately 8 inch incision from midway up my upper arm, down the elbow and midway down the lower arm.  It will be on the inside of the arm and will not be visible unless I am holding my arm out or up.  However, this is not a little incision, it’s a major cut so major scarring.  What they will do in there is take the nerve off my elbow and move it up to the inside of my arm.  I will not be able to use my arm for 6 weeks at least.  I am very frightened and upset by the whole thing and there is a lot of emotional turmoil about being disfigured yet again.  I already feel hideous enough. 

Then you go into the implications of no left arm for a while.  It will affect my NEW job.  It will affect my ability to drive somewhat.  It will affect my ability to care for my baby.  I guess there are people with one arm that do it and don’t even have a problem so I will just have to buck up and deal.  And I am fortunate enough to have Princess home for the summer to help me.  I’m just really emotional and sad about this.  However, surgery has to be done.  As a matter of fact the doctor was very clear that if I wait even 6 months more damage could be done and full recovery of my hand could be jeopardized.  Even doing it now I may not get 100% recovery.

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