I need to remember that I have therapy at 6, so I need to start getting ready at 4 and leave by 5.
Today has been kind of inactive. I read all the recaps for Gilmore Girls on TelevisionWithoutPity.com, because I haven’t watched it since mid-season last season. It was just pissing me off. So I read up till this last episode, and now I’m thinking I’ll watch the last few episodes. I also sat and read the discussion boards, and I am amused at how serious some people take this show. They really philosphize about the whys and wherefores of the show. I can’t say much, I’ve done that about books and movies in the past, extensively. Especially the Harry Potter story line. But still it’s funny.
A lot of people ask me if I named my daughter for the main character of this show, but I didn’t. People also told me that the main character Lorelai is a lot like me, so actually, I got so curious after several people had asked me that, that I decided to sit down and watch an episode, and then I was hooked.
Other than that, I finished “She’s Come Undone” by Wally Lamb. This time, strangely enough, the ending didn’t upset me. I actually felt good. It’s been a long time since I read it, and actually the things that happen to her didn’t affect me the way they did the first time I read it. Which tells me I have moved on from some of the negative experiences I read in that book.
I am both looking forward to and dreading therapy tonight. I can tell her about my little victory, quitting Dr. Pepper for 5 days. But then I have to tell her about the continuing struggle since then. I have been bad for two days in a row. I know the benefits, and I still do it. I wish I understood what really makes me do that. I guess it’s that whole “inner child” running the show thing, and she wants soda, all the time. It’s something that hasn’t changed since I was younger.
I really need to quit. I really, really do. I just have to take it one day at a time, I guess, and be grateful I’m not trying to quit drinking alcohol, smoking, or taking drugs. It could be worse. But like alcohol, just one drink of soda sets me off again. That is definitely addictive behavior. I’m not sure how to handle it. I tend to run away from anything that indicates it might be hard work.
It is something that is on my mind. But mostly, I’m planning on sitting down and reading What To Expect The Toddler Years to see if my baby has reached all the important milestones by this age. Keep your fingers crossed that she has. I don’t like looking at that book much, because if there’s something Lola hasn’t mastered yet, I start feeling like it’s my fault. Horrible mother, and all that.
Here’s something that is really bothering me. She WILL NOT eat breakfast. Nothing I have tried she wants. All she wants is her bottle of milk. She usually has one in the morning and one in the evening, sometimes one in the middle of the day that I only fill to 5 oz. And like most kids her age, she’s very picky about what she *will* eat. Pizza, spaghetti, hot dogs and mac’n’cheese are the only things I know she will always eat. Most veggies are a bust. At least I have got her willingly letting me brush her teeth, and going to bed without a huge fuss most nights. If I can get her to eat better, I guess I’m not doing too shabby. It’s just my perfectionism again, I guess.
OK, I’m outta here.
If you know my brother Bri, (or even if you don’t) it is his 30th birthday tomorrow. Please send him an email or something to wish him a happy day – email me to get his email address