Never mind about the different theme.  I didn’t like it.  I like this one better.  Eventually I’ll change if they come up with any themes on here that I can have for free.  Right now, I’ll stay with the one I have.  Until I get bored with it.

Well, what I was saying ugh…about was this.

Tomorrow I get my wisdom tooth removed.  Many people have had this done and may not think it’s a big deal.  But it is, to me.  I’m scared of the whole thing.  Thank Goodness they are letting me sleep through the whole thing.  But what I’m most nervous about is sending Lola to someone’s house to be babysat.  Diane, the babysitter we’re going to use, is really nice, and used to be Princess’s daycare provider.  She has a thriving daycare business and totally knows how to deal with kids, from infancy up.  I’m just nervous for Lola.  I don’t like her to feel afraid or unhappy.  She has only seen Diane a couple of times.  She knows Diane’s husband a bit better, because he’s been over here recently. She calls him “Guy”.  Which is totally nowhere near his real name.  I’m afraid that she will flip out, and won’t eat anything she’s offered, and basically will be miserable.  The flip side of that is that she might have a great time, find some kids to play with, and absolutely adore Diane.  It’s hard not to.  Kids love Diane.  Plus, most kids love “Guy” as well. 

I don’t want her to be so socially backward that she doesn’t adapt to situations where mommy is not there.  I don’t want her to be like the little girl I remember when I was a teacher’s assistant in Kindergarten.  This little girl was precious, but she was so scared when her mom left, that I spent a couple of days with her barely leaving my side, because I guess I reminded her of her mom.  She had ulcers from the stress.  A little 5 year old had ulcers.  I don’t want my kid to be that scared. 

So far in her life, Lola has been babysat countless times by Princess, a couple of times by our friend Kath, one night by my sister T (that was when she was quite a bit smaller), and for a few hours here and there by my sister-in-law M, my sister Lois, and my mom.  Every one of them told me that she was fine within minutes, with the exception of the time that Kath watched her–she was really cranky, having Princess there just reminded her that I wasn’t there and apparently she was a royal pain.  That’s what I’m afraid of.

Did any of you keep your kids really close to home when they were little and then have these kinds of panic attacks when you had to leave them somewhere?  If it was my mom or sisters, I wouldn’t even think twice.  And it’s not the whole thing of not trusting Diane, because I trust her just as much as my family….it’s just I don’t want to inflict a screaming, miserable toddler on her.  I don’t feel so bad inflicting a horrible bratty toddler on my sisters or my mom!  🙂

I just feel like this is another example of how I’m not a good mother, because I don’t have my child prepared for situations where mommy has to go somewhere and she has to stay with a sitter.

Probably she will be great, and by tomorrow afternoon when Hubby goes to get her, she will not want to leave.

Share your experiences with me, and also let me know if you would like to participate in my previously mentioned weight loss goal?  Just to recap, I am going to try to lose 5 lbs by April 1.  I need to have some sort of accountability thing going on.  The things I’m going to do to try to make this weight loss happen are these things:

– Giving up soda completely for a trial period of March 1 to May 31.
– Giving up chocolate completely for a trial period of March 1 to April 1.
– Cardio exercise 3 x’s a week
– Yoga/Stretching – 20 minutes daily

Is this too much?

I decided that if I lose the 5 lbs sooner than April 1, I will set a new goal and new time frame at that time. 

If I can lose 5 lbs a month for the months of March, April and May, I could be down to 175 by Labor Day.  Is 5 lbs a month too much?  I have no idea.

So, again, feedback on the babysitter worry, and my weight loss accountability team signup…be a part of my weight loss nazi team.  Actually, let’s call it the weight loss marine corp.  Sounds less threatening.

I’m willing to do it if you guys will try to help Hubby hold me to it.  My therapist says I should enlist as much help as I can.



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