On An Island

David Gilmour ‘On An Island ‘

I’m absolutely amazed and moved. The man’s an artist. I have never known a man who could play a guitar the way he does…I mean a direct link to his soul. And of course, the friends he has harmonizing on this song make it all the more a auditory feast for the ears. My heart’s in my throat as I am listening, totally moved.


Third or Fourth Post

Saints & Angels by Sara Evans

We’re only human, baby
We walk on broken ground
We lose our way
We come unwound
We’ll turn in circles, baby
We’re never satisfied
We’ll fall from grace
Forget we can fly
But through all the tears that we cried
We’ll survive

Cause when we’re torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We’re just two tarnished hearts
When in each other’s arms
We become saints and angels.

I love your imperfections
I love your everything
Your broken heart, your broken wings
I love you when you hold me
And when you turn away
I love you still and i’m not afraid
Cause i know you feel the same way
And you’ll stay

Cause when we’re torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We’re just two tarnished hearts
When in each other’s arms
We become saints and angels.

These feet of clay (these feet of clay)
They will not stray

Cause when we’re torn apart
Shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We’re just two tarnished hearts
When in each other’s arms
We become saints and angels.
Saints and angels


Never mind about the different theme.  I didn’t like it.  I like this one better.  Eventually I’ll change if they come up with any themes on here that I can have for free.  Right now, I’ll stay with the one I have.  Until I get bored with it.

Well, what I was saying ugh…about was this.

Tomorrow I get my wisdom tooth removed.  Many people have had this done and may not think it’s a big deal.  But it is, to me.  I’m scared of the whole thing.  Thank Goodness they are letting me sleep through the whole thing.  But what I’m most nervous about is sending Lola to someone’s house to be babysat.  Diane, the babysitter we’re going to use, is really nice, and used to be Princess’s daycare provider.  She has a thriving daycare business and totally knows how to deal with kids, from infancy up.  I’m just nervous for Lola.  I don’t like her to feel afraid or unhappy.  She has only seen Diane a couple of times.  She knows Diane’s husband a bit better, because he’s been over here recently. She calls him “Guy”.  Which is totally nowhere near his real name.  I’m afraid that she will flip out, and won’t eat anything she’s offered, and basically will be miserable.  The flip side of that is that she might have a great time, find some kids to play with, and absolutely adore Diane.  It’s hard not to.  Kids love Diane.  Plus, most kids love “Guy” as well. 

I don’t want her to be so socially backward that she doesn’t adapt to situations where mommy is not there.  I don’t want her to be like the little girl I remember when I was a teacher’s assistant in Kindergarten.  This little girl was precious, but she was so scared when her mom left, that I spent a couple of days with her barely leaving my side, because I guess I reminded her of her mom.  She had ulcers from the stress.  A little 5 year old had ulcers.  I don’t want my kid to be that scared. 

So far in her life, Lola has been babysat countless times by Princess, a couple of times by our friend Kath, one night by my sister T (that was when she was quite a bit smaller), and for a few hours here and there by my sister-in-law M, my sister Lois, and my mom.  Every one of them told me that she was fine within minutes, with the exception of the time that Kath watched her–she was really cranky, having Princess there just reminded her that I wasn’t there and apparently she was a royal pain.  That’s what I’m afraid of.

Did any of you keep your kids really close to home when they were little and then have these kinds of panic attacks when you had to leave them somewhere?  If it was my mom or sisters, I wouldn’t even think twice.  And it’s not the whole thing of not trusting Diane, because I trust her just as much as my family….it’s just I don’t want to inflict a screaming, miserable toddler on her.  I don’t feel so bad inflicting a horrible bratty toddler on my sisters or my mom!  🙂

I just feel like this is another example of how I’m not a good mother, because I don’t have my child prepared for situations where mommy has to go somewhere and she has to stay with a sitter.

Probably she will be great, and by tomorrow afternoon when Hubby goes to get her, she will not want to leave.

Share your experiences with me, and also let me know if you would like to participate in my previously mentioned weight loss goal?  Just to recap, I am going to try to lose 5 lbs by April 1.  I need to have some sort of accountability thing going on.  The things I’m going to do to try to make this weight loss happen are these things:

– Giving up soda completely for a trial period of March 1 to May 31.
– Giving up chocolate completely for a trial period of March 1 to April 1.
– Cardio exercise 3 x’s a week
– Yoga/Stretching – 20 minutes daily

Is this too much?

I decided that if I lose the 5 lbs sooner than April 1, I will set a new goal and new time frame at that time. 

If I can lose 5 lbs a month for the months of March, April and May, I could be down to 175 by Labor Day.  Is 5 lbs a month too much?  I have no idea.

So, again, feedback on the babysitter worry, and my weight loss accountability team signup…be a part of my weight loss nazi team.  Actually, let’s call it the weight loss marine corp.  Sounds less threatening.

I’m willing to do it if you guys will try to help Hubby hold me to it.  My therapist says I should enlist as much help as I can.


Doctor Results

Well, I am returned from the doctor’s office.  According to her, my dizziness, head pains when I bend over double, and such are caused by benign paroxysmal positional vertigo.  I also have rosacea, and a muscle spasm issue with my hands and feet.  I was thinking I’ve gained a bunch of weight, but apparently I’m only 1 lb heavier this year than I was at this time last year.  Just to be sure, the doctor is sending me to get a complete blood screen to make sure there isn’t anything else going on.  She feels pretty sure about the vertigo though, and prescribed me Antavert or something like that, but I only have to take it on really dizzy days.

She did say she wasn’t concerned that weight gain was causing any of my problems right now, but that I would definitely feel better if I lost 10 to 20 lbs.  That’s what I like about my doctor, she doesn’t ride me about it, she is honest about it, but she doesn’t assume all my problems stem from my weight, and she concedes that you can weigh quite a bit more than the national average and still be very healthy (not that I’m saying I’m one of those people). 

But like I said previously today, I am definitely going to do what I can to lose some weight.  I am going to start with trying to lose 5 lbs.  We’ll see.  As of March 1 I will not be drinking any soda, NONE, until May 31.  If I succeed (When I succeed), I hope that the desire to drink the soda will have dissipated and I will have gotten used to doing without it.  I am considering giving up chocolate.  Not all candy right now (I think that would be too much too soon for me), just chocolate, because it also has caffeine.  Caffeine is a major contributor to a lot of my problems, including this rosacea, so I think if I go a few weeks without it and I notice a decrease in the rosacea, then I know what triggers it. 

For the cramps in my hands and feet, she said I should try to take calcium/magnesium, and get more potassium.  No problem, I can do that.

We also discussed the things in the food I eat, like nitrates, etc.  I am considering going to  Whole Foods Market and buying a few things organic, and slowly switch us over to organic food.  I have to get used to whole wheat products instead of refined flours, so that is going to take me a while to get used to.  I figure I’ll start with bread and maybe whole wheat spaghetti noodles.  I don’t eat much in the way of crackers or anything.  I’m not a big potato chip eater.  I do like cookies and cakes…but really I shouldn’t be eating those a great deal.  I like sweet stuff, maybe they’ll have some snacks that will work, at the organic grocer.  Refined sugars have to go, too.  But I am just going to do a little bit at a time. 

Do you guys think I can lose 5 lbs by April 1?  If you are all in on it, I could definitely find more motivation!  Why don’t you guys be my online coaches?  It would really help.

If I get a few people who are willing to check on me on here and send me encouragement, I will try to get from 190.5 to 185.5 by April 1.  If I get more, then all the better!  At that point, I can make another goal.  If I lose the 5 lbs before April 1, then maybe I’ll set a new goal from that point.



Cute and Amusing Pictures for the Day

Here are the pictures.  The first 3 are cute, the last 2 are just funny.

Just look at those curls!  Her hair is growing.  If you brush it out straight when it’s wet, it goes down to about her shoulder blades!!!

This adorable dress and stockings were a gift and she looked precious in it…when she wasn’t in a pissy mood!

Normally a ham, she was not in the mood to pose for pictures this particular morning, so I don’t have any of her radiant smiles captured in this cute outfit.  But still, you can appreciate the cute outfit.

This kid falls asleep wherever she decides to lay down.  We realized she was asleep, with her foot propped up in the couch cushion!!!

Another angle for this funny picture!

Currently listening :
Motown Legends: Let It Whip
By Dazz Band
Release date: By 07 December, 2004