What on earth is going on in my head?

I keep telling myself…”it’s a chemical imbalance, it’s a chemical imbalance, it’s a chemical imbalance. It won’t last forever, it won’t last forever, it won’t last forever.” But every day I feel this way, I feel I’m wasting a day of my life. It’s not fair. There is a school of thought that says, “You choose your feelings.” I don’t WANT to feel hopeless, bleak despair. I don’t want to look at all the wonderful things in my life and see nothing. I don’t want to hate myself. I don’t want to waste my own time feeling this horrid. Why????? Why can’t I shake it???????? Depression is NOT fair.  It’s a battle I’m never going to win.  At least that’s how I’m feeling right now.  And I’ll feel better in a few days.  But then, I’ll be right back down here again.  In the pit of despair.  I hate my brain, my body, everything that causes me to be this fucking stupid and damaged.

 My oh my (david gray)

What on earth is going on in my heart
Has it turned as cold as stone
Seems these days I don’t feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart

My oh my you know it just don’t stop
It’s in my mind I wanna tear it up
I’ve tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it’s not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my

What on earth is going on in my head
You know I used to be so sure
You know I used to be so definite
Thought I knew what love was for
I look around these days and I’m not so sure

My oh my you know it just don’t stop
It’s in my mind I wanna tear it up
I’ve tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it’s not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my you know I just can’t win
I burn it down it comes right back again
What kinda world is this we’re living in
where you never win
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love these days
To keep your heart from freezing
To keep your spirit free

My oh my you know it just don’t stop
It’s in my mind I wanna tear it up
I’ve tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it’s not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end
My oh my it just don’t stop
My oh my it just don’t stop
My oh my it just don’t stop

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