I can’t see the forest for the trees.

I am sooooooooo stressed out.

1. Cranky baby. I can’t figure out if it is teething, or gas. The doctor isn’t sure, either.

2. My dad. My sister T is looking at retirement/nursing facilities for him to move to, since my mom can’t take care of him; it’s too much for her. It is also too much for any of us that have little kids. So an Assisted Living place would be the best. HE is not going to like it. I feel very guilty even discussing this with my siblings. But I can’t step up and take him into my house. Listen, I’m screwed up because of growing up with an alcoholic, and now the alcoholic I grew up with also can’t seem to keep a lid on his temper so I am not going to expose my kids to that stuff. I want them to have a chance at being somewhat normal. But anyway I feel bad. Seeing my dad going further and further downhill hurts. It hurts more than a lot of people around me realize. It’s not something I can talk about or put into words very well, so I just don’t.

3. My mom. Just got out of the hospital, but she is still sick. She has pneumonia, and they have her on this really powerful antibiotic, that makes her sick in and of itself. However, the antibiotics aren’t getting rid of the pneumonia, so I figure she’ll be back in the hospital before too long.

4. My mom’s roof. My mom’s roof is leaking very badly. New felt and shingles are needed on the whole thing. It will cost about $2000. My sister Lois is sending mom the money. I am going to send her some money too because it isn’t right they have to pay for everything. I think my brother Stewart will chip in too, but other than that I am not sure the others are able or willing to help. Hubby and I are so behind on our bills right now, with all the trips to Cincinnati we’ve had to make in the last few weeks because of my dad, that we are going to be even deeper in the hole. Basically, it just means Hubby has to work more hours, and that makes me sad. But my sister already takes on so much expense for my mom, there is no way I’m going to let her do this all on her own.

5. My house. My house is a mess. I am trying to “spring clean” in the summertime because the place is driving me nuts. This is hard to do with a cranky, needy, absolutely adorable little baby to love and care for. So I work an hour here, an hour there. I’m starting in the basement and working my way upstairs. At least I’m taking steps to get it somewhat cleaned up.

6. Money. Oh, Money. I just need lots more than we have right now, and that’s just to catch up on bills. Thankfully, Hubby is working lots of overtime so we’re closing the gap quickly. But with school shopping, Princess’s birthday, and things we need for the house, it’s just two steps forward, one step back, over and over again. Slow progress. I hate slow progress. Yes, progress is better than regression, so I know at least I am fortunate in what we do have. Once we catch up, we will be fine. Just as long as nothing else happens. But of course, something will. I am afraid I might have to go to work if I don’t figure out how to put some money away for unforseen expenses.

7. ME. I am unhealthy, overweight, out of shape, depressed, crazy, irritable, tired, eating all wrong, sore all over, have low self esteem, and am unmotivated, procrastinating and guilt-ridden.

Need I say more?


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