Self-Esteem Issues

I dropped in to share an observation with you all.

The yoga works to eliminate my back pain. It is definitely the yoga that is doing it. How do I know?

I didn’t do my yoga for 4 or 5 days.

Now, I’m in agony.

Gotta get back into it!!! It’s just silly not to do the thing that makes your pain go away.

On another level, I need to come to some sort of real determination as to what I want from my fitness/health routines. I need to not have such high expectations, because the disappointment when my expectations are not met is enough to make me discouraged and mutinous towards my exercise, etc. I need to stop wanting to lose weight, and just concentrate on the FEELING BETTER part. I’m beautiful, no matter what size I am!! I need to re-convince myself of this. I have kind of let that media-directed self-hatred thought creep back into my psyche. I need Grace Magazine. I need to pull out my old copies of MODE and see that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

I also need to accept that part of getting off the birth control pills is that I am getting acne again, but that doesn’t mean I’m ugly. It’s so hard to keep that in mind when I see these huge cystic welts on my face. I don’t get acne like you might imagine, they are huge mountainlike welts that are about as round as a dime or nickel. AND THEY HURT!!! And itch. I am always unconsciously touching or scratching them. They hurt even when I am not touching them.

They make me sad.

I think that my feelings about the acne is coloring my feelings about everything else. You think?

Here’s something cool that someone told me the other day, it really made me feel good. Someone told me I was a strong warrior goddess and that I didn’t have to take crap off of anybody!   

Affirmation for today: I AM aware that self-love heals me at all levels and reconnects me with my divinity.

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