For those of you who are interested, I sent “the letter” {previous entry} on Friday. It should get there today, I suspect. I doubt I’ll get a response. I’ll give it a couple of days, and if I hear nothing, I will just move on and dwell no more on the subject.

I’ve apologized enough now, if friendship cannot be redeemed, then it wasn’t as good of a friendship as I thought. Don’t get me wrong, when I spoke to him a year or so ago, he was just as gentle and sweet as he’d always been. You can’t hide that kind of real sympatico, Hobbes is a good friend to all his friends. I’m just one of his many friends. Our friendship once moved into arenas other than platonic, and that’s where things got screwed up.

In other parts of my life, things are going very well. Hubby and I are having an upswing as far as the chemistry between us lately. Lots of sparks. I’m liking that. We had kind of chilled out over the past few months with all the stuff going on. It was mainly me, but recently things have heated up again…yeah buddy! We keep this up, and 2004 may well be the Year of the Baby (TM), not 2005!

I have been on the FlyLady system for almost 2 months. My home is almost always clean now, and getting more and more organized. What is amazing is how smoothly everything in our home life is running now that I’ve gotten the 3 of us on this program. It seems like a lot of work at the beginning but now, it has simplified our lives so much, we have so much more time to spend being together, and enjoying our time. Not to mention the pleasure it gives Hubby and PeeWee to come home every day to a house that looks and smells great. We now plan our dinner menus ahead for a few weeks and shop accordingly. We pack our lunches every night before we go to bed so we’re not spending as much. We have not veered from our budget for the whole 2 months.

Financially things are going great. This is the year I’ve been waiting for. The next few months especially are important. In April, if Hubby’s union doesn’t strike (and I’m leaning towards probably not), all the money we’ve saved for that is going to be used to pay off the motorcycle and van, and part of the truck. In addition, it will fund our April vacation to Colonial Williamsburg and D.C. The next few months after that we will rapidly pay down the truck and pay it off over 2 years early. The projected payoff of our truck is the end of August! Understand, this means 3 vehicles are paid off, freeing up about $850 a month. That’s almost half of my monthly take home pay. And all that will then go to paying off the rest of our debts. We will be debt free, other than our house payment, by May of 2005.

If 2005 is Year of the Baby and I’m going to do my damndest to make sure it is, we’ll be in really good shape financially to ensure that we can afford me to be home with a baby. I am working on a home business idea with SIL right now that hopefully will solve both our monetary issues, but that’s going to take a few months to unfold.

As I have said in previous entries, 2004 is the Year of Health for CG. Things are going great in that arena too. I am not good with making major changes in my daily habits, so I have implemented small changes and am making small adjustments to my habits. Since the beginning of the year I have quit caffeine. A major accomplishment for me, two months is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. I still have root beer (caffeine free) from time to time when I need something fizzy. I am drinking only water, and lots of it. I take my prenatal vitamins and supplements each night before bed. I have been incorporating exercise into my daily life. I am proud of myself, for 2 months I have done my yoga and other exercises almost each evening. I find the more exercise I do, the more I crave doing it. It makes me happy. I sleep so good! I usually do 30-40 minutes of exercise, i.e. pilates, bellydance, tae bo, then 30 minutes of yoga stretching to settle me down for the night. Then I sleep and sleep!

So I’ve done this for 2 months. I’ve lost 2 inches in my waist, 1 inch around my thighs, .75 inch in my calves and .5 inch in my upper arms. I am not worried so much about my weight, but I am definitely monitoring my progress to see how much my muscles tone up. I’m more concerned with my energy levels and how my body feels than my body’s size.

Taking the vitamins has definitely benefitted me. I can feel such a difference in my outlook, energy level and muscles and joints.

I have more plans to incorporate in my lifestyle, but I am happy with what I’ve done so far. Now I’m concentrating on making sure I get more calisthenics to burn calories. I know that I’m going to be so healthy when I get pregnant. Even if my weight issue isn’t handled before I get pregnant, I was more worried that I would get pregnant without having the right kinds of nutrients in my body. That’s being handled. I feel good about myself!

Work is better; my evil ongoing project isn’t so bad now that I have a system worked out to handle it. My boss still has her moody days but I’ve figured out the talisman — if Princess says to me in the morning “I hope {boss} isn’t cranky today!!” she isn’t cranky! But I don’t want to tell Princess to say it every day because if it is rehearsed, it would jinx it.

On a spiritual level, I’m working on a lot of things within myself and I’m proud of myself for writing the letter to Hobbes and getting some closure on one of my big regrets in this life. I have come to realize how much the opinion of others has mattered to me in the past, and that I need to stop tying my own self esteem to the opinions of others. Especially unworthy others. I am concentrating on being happy, grateful with what I have, and I have so much. I am also working on making sure my family knows how much I love them every day. Hubby does so much for me, and I am trying to make sure I give him all he gives me and more, because he deserves the best I can give him. Princess and I are getting closer and closer as she grows up, and I am so glad she trusts me enough to share her secrets. This is a good sign for the future.

My friends are a blessing as well, I’m so grateful for you all.

I’ve been reading this great book called “Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I highly recommend it.  SIL has been reading it with me, and she likes it too. It is helping me to learn to bring more grace and spirit into my day to day life.

I’m sorry I haven’t written much lately, but I have been busy, but in many good ways. I am hoping to update more often and about more than just my general day-to-day life, which is kind of just babbling in my opinion.

I am still reading as many of my buddies on my buddy list as possible.

Here’s an affirmation for today:

It’s OK to Take Care of Myself.


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